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random and pressing details: 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Updating the Ranch Gone Techno....

Ok, I blogged yesterday about the PINK  squares on the computer charting system at my Real Job.  Well... it continues to make me crazy!  And it is complicated by the fact that I'm precepting a new nurse on our unit.  She's a really sweet person, and I like her a lot.  I also think she's gonna be a good nurse and an asset to our floor.  That said, I'm having issues with patience.  She's at a point in her orientation where she hasta do it on her own.  It's sink or swim time for her, 'cause her orinetation is almost over.  So I'm sitting there, trying not to do everything for her, trying to will her to have a sense of urgency (some shit has just gotta get done 10 minutes ago!) and trying to teach her "the ropes."  All the while, however, I'm crawling outta my skin thinking how I would have done things differently, how I would have prioritized patient care, and maybe gotten things done more efficiently.  Not nececessarily that my way is the only way or the "right" way or even so much a better way.... Just that it's MY way.  So I have battered myself into a full out migraine today, stressing over this.  

Ok, well that little rant is over.  I'm going to bed now, full of the knowledge that I hafta do it all again bright n early tomorrow, but comforted by the thought that tomorrow is also haiku and Twitter time!  So, eFam, see ya tomorrow nite!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Ranch Goes Techno..... ummm. Ok.

Well, this was the big week at my "Real Job," aka The HH Ranch (don't ask me why, get a bunch of nurses together n we come up with stoopid stuff that's not funny to anyone but us).
By big week, I mean the systems wide "go live" on computer documentation/electronic medical records.  It went better than I expected, but I still have some random thoughts on the process.

First, here's a truth:  Nurses, in general, HATE change.  We are creatures of routine, system and habit, most of us.  We like parameters, and rules.  So you would think that the structure of the computer format would appeal to us.... and it does to some of us.  However, most nurses don't like it if you move the coffee pot, much less upset the whole way we are used to going about our day.  It'll be fine once we hit our individual and collective groove, but for now, the computer is nothing but one big monstrous CHANGE!! And it is resented.... like your ex's new girl, you see that it's a good match, but you can't help wanting to dot her in the eye!  

Next, we like to deal with the people... yes, even the ones who test the patience of Mother Teresa.  In a perfect world, we would take care of our patients, have time to spend with the families, focus on patient education, healing and advocacy.  In a perfect world, if it didn't have flesh and bone involved, we wouldn't fux wit it.  But the sad truth is, we spend a lot of time documenting our interventions.... Nursing Law 101: If you didn't document it, you didn't do it.  So all this CHANGE means that while we muddle thru the new system, we are spending a lot more time away from the bedside and a lot less time intervening.   My light at the end of the tunnel, as we become more proficient, we will get faster with the eDocumentation and will return to our usual posts doing instead of documenting.

Now, here's to the meat n rice (heeeyyy, Luvvie!) of the matter.... The computer has revealed in me, personally, a rather strong tendency toward OCD that I never knew existed!  See, stuff like meds and assessments and care summaries show up highlighted in PINK when they are over due.  So I'm looking at the status board for my team of patients, and I see all this PINK all over the place at the beginning of my shift...  

Weeeelllllll, let the palpitations and anxiety begin!  I'm obsessed with clearing off the PINK.   The thing is, it's not just my stuff that turns PINK.  Everybody's stuff that is over due on my status board turns freakin' PINK!  So if Respiratory is late charting a treatment, PINK!  If the CNA hasn't calculated intake and output, PINK!  See what I'm sayin'? I do not have total control of eliminating the PINK!  I. Do. Not. Approve! Then there are the SuperUsers... there to ease us through the transition n whatnot... talnbout "Don't fear the pink... It's a tool, to help you stay on track..."  

I don't FEAR the PINK.  No, dear readers, I LOATHE the PINK!  I ABHOR it. It is my sworn enemy.   Just thinking about that has got my presha up at least 20 points!!  No, the PINK must go!  Or I must be more aggressively medicated.  Atenolol and Wellbutrin are not gonna get me through this, I do not believe! Oh, Lawd save me from PINK squares on my computer screen!

Pray for me y'all!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Title's in the Mail!!!

I hate to say it, but at the age of 35, I purchased my first brand new car.  And it isn't anything special.... Just a Chevy Cavalier 4 door.  Small, easy on the gas, practical.  It's all I need.  Well, with the purchase came a monthly car payment that was a little more than I had prior to that on my gently used, dearly loved SUV.   So, finally, at the age of 40, I made my last car payment today!!   That means a little extra money in the boy's college fund each month.  A little more in the savings, and maybe a couple fewer shifts each month.  

This is a feeling to be relished! Savored! Enjoyed!

It is amazing how great it is to be free from just one bill!  (Trust me, there are still plenty more to sponge up my money!)

But tonight, I'm taking an easy breath coz that beyotch it paid off!!

My new favorite YouTube vid...

Now, how the hell does DBrock expect any female in her right mind to get any rest with the image of him propped on them pillows is dancing in her head....  Oh, yeah, the song is pretty damn hot too!

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Monday, April 20, 2009

Just some thoughts....

Here are some random questions.....  Feel free to answer.  That means you Lurkey-loos, too! Don't hafta be just PBG, Luvvie, Alise and Kindred contributing to the discussion.  Yeah, I mean YOU.  Don't think I don't see you peeking around my Twitter widget....

  1. With all the folks in the world with nasty teeth that never go to the dentist, why is it so hard to get an appointment? Can you imagine how hard it would be to get in if EVERYBODY went to the dentist on the regular?
  2. Why do people order a loaded cheeseburger, fries, two apple pies and a DIET Coke?  I'm real with mine, you can keep your Diet Coke.  
  3. What's the deal with neighbors who won't let their dog sh*t in their own yards, walk them 50 feet down the sidewalk, let the mutt dump in my yard and then don't clean that ish up? That one really kinda burns me up, case ya can't tell.
  4. What's up with chicks who paint their toe nails, but the rest of their feet look like they been kicking bricks?
Ok, that's off my chest now.  Thanks everybody.  As you were.

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Red Pump Project--Checkin' Back In

Hey, y'all know this blog rocks the Red Pump for Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS awareness.  I am kinda an AWARENESS and PREVENTION fanatic.  (After all, I'm a nurse and Infection Control and Prevention is part of my gig).

Anyhoo... I haven't addressed HIV for a while, so I thought I oughta put a few thoughts out there.
And they are just some random thoughts.  Soooo........

  • Know Your Status!!!! Get tested!
  • Know Your Partner's Status!!!!  And here's a thought.... If you don't know someone well enough to feel "comfortable" talking about health issues like HIV, STD's or Hepatitis, do you REALLY have any business having sex with them??
  • Stay informed!
  • Get Involved!

Ok, I gotta get out the door to church now, so I'll revisit the topic later.... 
In the meanwhile, go visit the Red Pump Project and check out their topics and resources.

Peace n Blessings!

Nurse Amy

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Zach and Cody have rotted my brain....

As the title of this post implies, I have been subjected to way too much Disney Channel lately.  My wonderful 6yr old son has somehow come to the conclusion that Zach and Cody are the penultimate in all things cool.  I beg to differ, but somehow my opinion is consistently disregarded in this matter.

I never intended to let the boy get too into television.  My rationale?  Having always had a weight problem myself, I didn't want the kid to be encouraged to be a couch potato.  Besides, there is precious little on TV that he would like that I can stand to watch also.  And he's a really active kid... soccer, baseball, guitar lessons, playing outside with the neighborhood kids, all of that.  But he has developed an infallible sixth sense... he feels it in his bones when Zach and Cody are on the tube.

Their hotel (now cruise ship--who lives on a cruise ship??) hijinx are as irritating to me as a splinter under a fingernail.  I have an irrational aversion to these little blonde moppets.  I can't even tell you why I have such antipathy toward these kids.  Maybe it's because you can see the plotline coming a mile away.  Maybe it's because they play the cute card until I scream for mercy.  Maybe it's because the show just plain blows.  I dunno... but I can't stand it anymore.
They make me want to pull an Elvis and shoot up the TV.  

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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Boy did I learn my lesson.....

So last nite, from work in the ER, during an exceedingly deceptive lull in the action, I post the following status on my Facebook "is at the ER wrkn ALL nite!"  using my crackberry.  

Well, my ePartner in ATHF tomfoolery, Alise, comments on my status... "no ATHF tonight??? noooooooooo...*wall slides*"

So, what do I do?  The little wheels in my head start to turnin' and smoke billows outta my ears as I hatch a genius (yeah, right) plot to MAKE IT HAPPEN!  I NEED my Meatwad fix!! (Alise is a Master Shake kinda girl).

So I Tweet my intentions!  "@naturallyalise as long as things don't get nuts here, I got my crackberry n a TV in the waiting room."

Key phrase being "as long as things don't get nuts here....."  ummmmmhmmmm.....  That's what I said.  I sure did.  In an ER, I said that.....

No sooner did I hit send than the ambulance toned out.  Hip fracture.  Next thru the door, a little case of kidney failure.  Then came the parade of sprains, coughs, toothaches (yea, toothaches) and paranoid moms with sniffle havin' babies.  

By the time we had the ER emptied out and there was peace in the valley once more, it was going on 3 am.  

So what did I learn?

1.  When it's "quiet" in the ER, it's a trick.
2.  Don't tempt the ER fates by Tweeting your intentions to watch ATHF....just do it!
3.  Sometimes, you gotta work at work.....  nuts.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Random stream of thought (trynna stay awake)

I picked up an extra shift on midnites in the ER tomorrow nite, so I'm trying to stay up tonite, so I can sleep tomorrow during the day......  anyway, I'm gonna impose myself on the blogosphere a minute to keep me going.....

I posted a poem on Alise's fantastic blog.... leading me to this thought, I'm becoming addicted to the blogs I follow.  I love 'em.  Each for it's own merit.  Some for humor, some for advice, some for creative outlet, some for advocacy.  

Which leads to the next thought... my eFriends are sometimes more interesting than my in-person friends... (except Shannan, my bestest best friend).

And the next.... Shannan used to write a column for a newspaper, poetry, short stories and she's working on a novel.  So why the hell can't I get her to blog?  She would only be fantastic at it!

This is a pic of us in Shannan's kitchen.  All the good stuff  (conversations n whatnot) happens in her kitchen.  My son, Elijah, loves to hang out at her house.  Of course, he has a crush on Shan.

Next thought, I'm pretty sure my son is going to grow up to be a politician or a grifter.  

Listen to the following con he tried to run on us the other day.  First you hafta know that my dad lives with us (I inherited him when Mom died).  So, the boy comes to me Sunday and says "Pop wants to know if you want to come to eat with us at the Cabin?"  I'm like....I have to go to work, so naw.  

He disappears to the family room (where Pop is).  My brother is also staying with me (he's between wives right now).  So when Eli hears him come home from work, he reappears and says "Uncle Mikey, do you wanna go eat at the Cabin with me and Pop?" Mike's like, yeah, sure. 

Eli disappears again.  About 20 minutes pass.  Dad comes in the room.  "Where are you guys wanting to eat?"  Huh?  No....we thought this was your idea....  One glance at the boy and you immediately see the wheels spinning, and he knows he's caught up!  

Eli wanted to go to the dang spot and eat so he orchestrated the multiple invitation scam... he was tellin' Pop we wanted to go eat, tellin' us Pop wanted to go eat, when all along, the child just wanted a ride to go get some chicken and mashed taters.  

If I wasn't so tired right now, I'd be worried.....

On the other hand, he's also a really sweet kid.  Monday morning I'm taking him to school and the weather here in the Cornfield (aka DuQuoin, IL) was crap!! 34 degrees with a rain snow mix.  So we're getting close to the school when we see this kid, prolly 11yrs old or so, walking in the nasty weather with NO JACKET and a SHORT SLEEVED t-shirt on.  

Eli pipes up from the back seat, "Mama, I know you love me."  
Me:  Of course I do, son, very much.  
"I know you love me 'cause you made me wear my coat."  
Me:  Well, it's cold out, baby.... 
"That kid must be freezing, huh, Mama." 
Me: Yeah, baby, he prolly is.  His mama should have made him wear a coat, too.
 (Wait for it, folks).....  "Yeah, well, his mom needs a lesson!"  
Empathetic with just a hint of humor.  I love my kid!

Ok, well, I've imposed long enough to compose my most random ramble to date.... 

Thank you very much for your time and attention in this matter!

*falls into coma*

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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Confession of a white girl

Ok, this lil' confession started out as a comment I left on Luvvie's blog, Awesomely Luvvie.  Now, I know I'm lettin' myself in for a whole mess of ignance and tongue lashing (or keyboard lashing, as may be more accurate).  But as common wisdom holds, confession is good for the soul.

*Deep cleansing breath*

I used to be "one of those white girls." You know what I mean.  The ones who try too hard.  Now, I was never on the level of Becky "Buckwild" here.  But there was a period of time, in much younger days, when I didn't really know who I was, and I did some things that now make me wanna hang my head!  I guess I thought that I was being cool or something.... but dammit, it was just wrong.  

The level of wrongness is thus:  I had braids... with weave.  

Yes, I did it. It was wrong, and I know this now, but then....  Well, hell, then I thought that was the shit!  I don't know what possessed me.  But I sat in the floor for, oh, bout 12 hours at a time  on more than one occasion while my friend Carlette tortured my head, smoked, talked on the phone, disciplined her children and watched her "stories" simultaneously.  Not to mention that throughout said activities, she provided a steady stream of commentary on who was messing with whom, who's children were out of pocket, who's baby daddy got locked up and what she was wearing to the club Saturday Night.  

Now, to be sure, I have grown up since then.  I understand that I don't hafta try to be anyone other than who I am.  In my own defense, tho, I really did think that shyt was cute at the time.  And any time spent with Carlette was entertaining and enlightening, to say the least!

This post has the potential to morph into a whole debate on the rights and wrongs of interracial relationships and friendships.  Everybody feels some kinda way about it.  But I think I'll just stop the seriousness of things right here for now and just let my folly stand on it's own.  Yes, my eFriends, I rocked a hairhat. 

Ok, I'm prepared for the roasting that I deserve!  Be gentle with me! 
*slinks off to dark corner to hide*

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Friday, April 3, 2009

Why's it gotta be all labelled and stuff?

This is Marc.  He snapped this pic on his phone one day when we were getting ready to go scare the ppl at the Chinese buffet... not sure why, but he did.   Anyway, this post is about him, but not really about him.  

See, I have reached an age where I don't know what to call Marc.  "Boyfriend" is just age inappropriate for two ppl who have past the age of having anything to do with boy.  Once you find yourself being called "ma'am" on a regular basis, it just doesn't work to refer to  the person you're in a relationship with as "boyfriend."  It's too little girl gigglish or something.  In any case, it just sticks in my throat.

Calling him "my man" though, doesn't sound right either.  I'm not sure what I'm opposed to with this one, actually.  It just doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth...  "This is my man, Marc."  I mean, he is a man, and a damn good one, at that.  Just sounds wrong when I say it.

Significant Other?  That's just someone else's lame ass attempt at a solution to the same problem.  Other what? And he's more than just significant... I mean I luv his silly self! So that doesn't work for me.

My boo?  Well, maybe.... 'cept he's a big dude.  And "boo" is just kinda a cute word.  Even tho I do call him Boo quite often....

Of course, there's the Phoebe from "Friends" approach.....  I'm just not sure how other ppl (including Marc) would react to me referring to him as "my lobster."

Other things that are out on the basis of sheer silliness include, but are not limited to "my baby," "my fella" and "my sweetie."  I throw up in my mouth a little just saying those things.   

So I guess I hafta settle on "Marc."  Which is fine, afterall, it's the name his mama gave him.