And what you didn't know is that I'm just getting started!!!

So here we are at post number 101.  You might think that I would be running out of things to say.  You would be wrong.  I'm pretty sure I will never run out of random!  I'm having too much fun here in my lil' corner of the innanets to stop now!

This week is a special week for my eTwin, the poetic, awesome NaturallyAlise and I.  It's our BornDay Week! (Yes, we get a whole week to celebrate coz we are awesome and whatnot.)  So, in honor of the best week in the entire year, Alise and I are swapping posts on each other's blogs.  I am sure there will be more foolishment in the works, we just haven't finished plotting out how we're gonna  scam cool presents out of unsuspecting strangers  make this BornDay Week memorable.  One thing I know for sure is that we are gonna revisit the Side-Eye Hall of Honor.  I have a few more Side-Eyes of Greatness to share with you... I've only held off on that this long because some of my honorees have yet to get me a picture (I'm lookin' at YOU, Luvvie!!)  That will probably be on Wednesday.  Then Thursday and Friday will be the BornDay tributes.... or somesuch nonsense.


So be sure to check back in this week... coz you love me. 
And I'm cute.  

Using my 100th Post for the Power of Good!!!

Today is a Double Celebration!!

This is random and pressing details' 100th Post!

*cues confetti and party horns*

It has been a strange journey this last year and change! Ups and downs, lessons learned, pet peeves, foolishment, foolery, side-eyes, and ignance... remembrances, tributes, friendships, inspirations, pleas, public service announcements and advocacy... we've shared a little bit of it all together.  I am honored every time I log on and find that someone (and sometimes several someones) has had enough interest in what I have to say to not only take time to read, but to comment!!  Your comments are the special sauce on the Big Mac of my life! *No Ronald!*


To all of you, I say a most sincere and heart felt "Thank you!! Now get outta my bathtub!!"

But the Biggest, Awesomest and Most Supercalifragilisticexpialidociousest news of all is....

My girl Dwina got to bring lil' Man home from the hospital today!!!  

Thanks to all of the prayer, positive energy, love and support of any and all of you who kept them in your thoughts and prayers!!  Lil' Man is a bona fide miracle baby!  He's beautiful, and he is home in plenty of time for Mother's Day!!


Which is the coolest thing in the world, and made me break out in a Bro. Franklin dance!!


So in honor of this most excellent day and it's dual causes for celebration... but mostly b/c of Lil' Man, enjoy the following!!

Damb You, Animal Planet!!

So it seems like a safe bet to let the boy watch Animal Planet... no unnecessary violence, booty tootin', or foolishment.  Okay... so occasionally you're gonna catch a lion eating a gazelle or some such thing, but generally it's a damn sight better than what he could be watching.  

Except....

Yeah... so thank you, Sarah McLachlan!! Thank you, very stinkin' much!!  And I mean that most sincerely, as I repeatedly tell the boy, "No, you cannot have another pet."  As he begs with his lil' pitiful face, telling me how many dogs and cats die annually due to abuse and neglect.  As he reminds me that WE can make a difference in the life of an abused or neglected animal.  I swear if he grows up one day and joins PETA, there will be consequences and repercussions!  I'll find you, Sarah, I WILL FIND YOU!!

Sarah McLachlan... you have earned one of these:

STD's Are NOT Sexy... No Matter How "Spectacular" the Sex Was

Okay, so I worked a day shift today, and when I got home, I kissed my kid, changed clothes and checked my Facebook.  


One of my FB friends, Van had posted a YouTube link.  He had posted a video commentary/PSA in response to Kiely Williams' music video on YouTube for her song "Spectacular."  Now, I'm not gonna recap what he said.  I'm not gonna try to say it better or more politely.  Because I happen to think he did more than an excellent job of breakin' it down.  I'm only gonna direct your attention to the sidebar and ask you to click on the Red Pump.  


Attitudes like the one Miss Kiely expresses in her song... umm... yeah.  That's kinda what makes the Red Pump Project necessary in the first place.  C'mon, ladies... let's do better.  Know your status.  Know your partner's status.  Hell, know your partner!! Protect yourself.

See the videos below for the full story.  Warning before you play the videos, though:  They're both R rated. The first for subject matter and sexual triflingness and hosh*t.  The second for Van's potty mouth!

Adventures in *Side Eye* o_O

Preface:  I know I am usually hard pressed to post twice in one week, much less in one day, but there must be an exception to every rule, so read on!
Sometimes I comb Google Images for images for my blogs.  Every now and then, I come across some gems. Today I was merely looking for funny facial expressions to use as punctuation for future foolery.  You know, examples of the *side eye*, the *blank stare*, and the *WTF face*.


For a while now, it has been accepted as gospel that Lady Cameroon is the penultimate example of  *side eye* perfection. 

But as I searched today..... well I found some *side eyes* that both impressed and confused me.

Let's begin with the impressive...

She may be adopted, but when it comes to the *side eye*, perhaps nurture outweighs nature?

                 

Zahara picked up that ground levelling *side eye* somewhere, did she not?  Angelina, you taught her well. Kudos to you!!!
But, ummm, let's address that thumb sucking thing Miss Shiloh is rockin'.... mama still has work to do!

Now, how about a mama who has guided both of her girls well into 

The Way of The Side Eye....

I   don't givvadamb if you like the president's politics or not.

I don't care who says what....

Michelle Obama's Side Eye gives me Life!!  

Michelle Obama's Side Eye says more than the entire contents of Wikipedia!

I aspire to the Side Eye Mastery she posesses.  And the girls are obviously on their way to Side Eye greatness!

My one (true) male representative in the Side Eye Gallery of Greatness is the late legendary Bernie Mac.  Tell me this Side Eye isn't fierce...

Ouch!! You can almost feel the heat off that one!!

Now.... I have another Side Eye that can technically be called male, but c'mon, shim's too MUCH to fall into one category.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Side Eye Greatness that is.... RuPaul!!!

You Betta WORK!!!!

And while we're on the subject of Shim's Fierceness.... this next image just made me cackle for no good reason whatsoever.

The next two entries are the Anonymous but Awesome Side Eyes of Fury.

I wanna know who trained these young ladies, because by the time they're grown, their Side Eye Game will have reached epic proportions of lethality!  

And finally, the image I found confusing...

I'll tell ya how to find it.  Go to Google Images, search the term side eye.  Scroll to the bottom and click on page 9.  Again scroll down, and on the bottom left corner, you find this:

Miss NaturallyAlise herself!!

Now, believe me when I say, Alise is in posession of a Grand Champion Side Eye.

But people.... this is sooooooo not it!!!

This is a picture of Alise lookin' all sweet, smiling (don't let it fool ya) with her hairhat looking all emollient and whatnot.

This is Alise in all her pretty, poetic glory.

No Side Eye Here.

---------none.

Which made me make this face:

Edit:  Alise got at me on Google Chat, and being the incredible friend that she is, provided me with a link to a pic of her on TwitPic that shows her in all of her Side Eye Grandeur....

Behold!! The Side Eye of Death!

That's right! It's piercing, sharp, relentless! Be Amazed!!

So, who do you think is giving the Fiercest Side Eye of them all?  Discuss amongst yourself n allathatthere.


If you think you have a contender for Fiercest Side Eye in the History of Ever,
send 'em in to amymay117@gmail.com

Exploding Heads are Messy

This last week has been somewhat hellacious, hellerific, and hellified.  Doesn't matter why, really... it might have something to do with the Ranch, or not.  I'm not sayin' either way. o_O


But I discovered that sometimes you can't make everyone happy.  In fact, sometimes you can't make anyone happy... no matter how hard you try.  And the harder you try, the higher your blood pressure gets.  Until your head finally explodes.  Then there's this whole mess to clean up.  And it's like when the family dog poops on the carpet, no one wants to clean it up... yeah, same thing following a brain explosion.  No one wants to scrape the brains and gore off the walls, and there are all these nasty stains on the carpet.  Then everyone is even more cheezed at you because you made the mess, but being brainless now, you are in no condition to clean it up.


See what I mean? You just can't please everyone.




(This guy obviously works with ppl who are considerate enough to clean up the brain leavings...)


Other little maxims that apply:

• you can't be in two places at once
• you can't have your cake and eat it too
• to thine own self be true

Ok, that last one was a reach.  Big deal.  I'm brainless, remember? My head exploded.... duh!!