Vainglorious Side-Eyes from "DirtyPrettyThangs"

Oh, how I love it when a day starts off well!! It is the bee's knees, Pooh's honey, and the air I breathe when I start my day off with a new post from one of my favorite bloggers. And if there just happen to be amazing side-eyes involved, well, all the better!

This morning, my dread of an upcoming stats exam was mitigated and my mood elevated by the coolest lady in DC, ThePBG. Her blog DirtyPrettyThangs is one of my staples. It has everything! And today, it gave everything, including a new Honoree for the Side-Eye Hall of Glory. (Yes, I realize I'm remarkably inconsistent with the title, but that's just because... well, it just is.)


So, without any further discourse... allow me to present the 
Honoree for Side-Eye Versatility and Vaingloriousness! 
(I don't know her name, I'm sorry.)

Each of these pictures tells a story! I love how expressive this woman's face is.  But she prob'ly doesn't wanna pursue a career in high stakes professional poker... just sayin'.


Go to DirtyPrettyThangs to see her expressions in context. I promise, once you see the video these stills were captured from, you will roll!

The last one is my personal favorite... 


Welcome to the Side-Eye Gallery of Greatness, Ma'am!

Now there's Side-Eye greatness in my Gmail....

Relentless pursuit of the perfect side eye... this is my never ending mission. It is more than a hobby, more than a passion. It is my calling. Fortunately for me, I have some amazing friends who not only understand my obsession, they enable it!! For that I love them forever...


So, in my last post, you got to meet Side-Eye Dog

Side-Eye Dog's magnificence was added to my lifespace by ThePBG.  Peebz also dropped this gem of Side-eyery in my @Replies:

I don't know what the baby snowbunny did but, ummm... she might not wanna keep sitting there all vulnerable and oblivious n shxt.  I'm just sayin'.... That consideration aside, will you just LOOK at the child! Side-eyes of this magnitude aren't made, they're born. This level of Side-eyery is a gift! I just hope that she is being mentored and led well in the Way of the Side-Eye!  


Then today.... oh, my! In my Gmail, I find this treasure:

LordGodJesusInHeaven....iHollered!

Yes!!! It's Crownie McLocsface!! And with this Side-eye, I can "hear" the puzzled exclamation.... "Da hell???" Yeah, it's that awesome that I'm having auditory hallucinations, y'all. Hallucinations!!! How incredible is that?

Got a great Side-eye? Leave me a link in the comments!

Side-Eye Glory in my @Replies....

Hey, y'all! The greatest thing just happened to me!!! And it's all thanks to ThePBG!! (I lubs ThePeebz!!!)
Yesterday, the Twitter had eaten all of my @Replies. So while Mr. Man and I watched Monday Night Football (ok, he was watching, I was pestering Blackie Chan...), I decided to check and see if the Tuhh-wittuhhh had decided to give them back.  And it had... a few.

But the really great part was the new @Replies that had appeared

Well... of course I had to investigate... And what I discovered was more precious than unicorn tears, more glittery than pixie-dust, more uplifting than phoenix wings.

What I discovered, was Supreme Side-Eye Dog. 

Behold, and weep!

Supreme Side-Eye Dog has earned the distinction of being the only canine in the Side-Eye Hall of Fame, and only the second non-human member.

WTF Cat Proudly welcomes you, 
Side-Eye Dog!

Side-Eye Lifetime Achievement Award (Posthumously): Rue McClanahan

Although Ms. McClanahan is no longer with us, she is nonetheless deserving of recognition of her tireless devotion to and relentless pursuit of side-eye excellence. Her expression of disdain and exasperation is without equal. It is my pleasure to bestow the 2010 Side-Eye Lifetime Achievement Award to Rue McClanahan.

Behold and tremble!

Now I need to go watch a Golden Girls marathon...

(Thanks grey[dot]matters for the .gif)

More from the Side Eye Hall of Honor...

Last time we looked in on these hallowed halls, it was pretty much just a random happening.  This is a deliberate reprise.  Now, I will forewarn you, there is one Side Eye which is glaringly missing.  It ain't for lack of tryin'... but since she's had a lot on her plate, I'ma give her a pass (we have ferocity from eLuvvie, instead).  But despair not, I have Side Eye a-plenty!

First... we have the Lethal Look  reppin' the District of Columbia.  This look has been honed by years of laser sharp wit and a bullsnit detector bar none.  It screams, "Go head, then... if you're craaaazy..."

Behold The PBG! (Twitter @thepbg)

Our next two Side Eye Samurai hail from North Carolina.  Ignance is their stock in trade.  Please don't make the mistake of thinking you can prevail in a battle of wits with either.... they grow 'em merciless down there, apparently!


This gentleman makes one beg the question... is Rude necessarily Wrong?

Crownie McLocsface... Master of the Side Eye/Stank Face combo! Soul crushing, ain't it? (Twitter @crownieisRUDE)

Also hailing from NC, my sister from another mister... NaturallyAlise!!  Now this isn't a traditional, lookin' at you like you short style Side Eye.  
This is her "I'm slaying hoes effortlessly" Side Eye.  

NaturallyAlise trynna look innocent, but she knows she's bout to be on some ho-sh*t! (Twitter @NaturallyAlise)

This is the place where we should be dazzled by the brilliance of the Side Eye of Awesomely Luvvie.... instead, we have an image of one of her AwesomelyLuvvie Tees!  Getchu one... here's the link to her SpreadShirt online store:  LINK!

(Twitter @luvvieig)

And here's Luvvie's eSelf giving the Side Eye of Devastation!   

Now here's a Side Eye near and dear to my heart... It's because I can take credit for the nurturing of this Side Eye, it's development and growth... my own dear son.  No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  *Single Tear*

Awesome!

And it seems that he is making an attempt at the Side Eye/Stank Face Combination as well... must be a guy thing!


No Twitter for this lil' man... at least not yet!


And finally... one of my own.  I only aspire to have true Side Eye greatness one day.... in the meantime,
this is me.

(Twitter @amymay117)

Which is still closely related to this:

Yeah.... I love that Cat!!

Come back tomorrow for the BornDay Breakdown.... 42 and still acting like 35.  What? I was a late bloomer!!

By the way, click the pics of Peebz, Alise, and Luvvie for links to their fantastic blogs!

You can also check Peebz and Luvvie out on The Fresh Xpress!

Damb You, Animal Planet!!

So it seems like a safe bet to let the boy watch Animal Planet... no unnecessary violence, booty tootin', or foolishment.  Okay... so occasionally you're gonna catch a lion eating a gazelle or some such thing, but generally it's a damn sight better than what he could be watching.  

Except....

Yeah... so thank you, Sarah McLachlan!! Thank you, very stinkin' much!!  And I mean that most sincerely, as I repeatedly tell the boy, "No, you cannot have another pet."  As he begs with his lil' pitiful face, telling me how many dogs and cats die annually due to abuse and neglect.  As he reminds me that WE can make a difference in the life of an abused or neglected animal.  I swear if he grows up one day and joins PETA, there will be consequences and repercussions!  I'll find you, Sarah, I WILL FIND YOU!!

Sarah McLachlan... you have earned one of these:

Adventures in *Side Eye* o_O

Preface:  I know I am usually hard pressed to post twice in one week, much less in one day, but there must be an exception to every rule, so read on!
Sometimes I comb Google Images for images for my blogs.  Every now and then, I come across some gems. Today I was merely looking for funny facial expressions to use as punctuation for future foolery.  You know, examples of the *side eye*, the *blank stare*, and the *WTF face*.


For a while now, it has been accepted as gospel that Lady Cameroon is the penultimate example of  *side eye* perfection. 

But as I searched today..... well I found some *side eyes* that both impressed and confused me.

Let's begin with the impressive...

She may be adopted, but when it comes to the *side eye*, perhaps nurture outweighs nature?

                 

Zahara picked up that ground levelling *side eye* somewhere, did she not?  Angelina, you taught her well. Kudos to you!!!
But, ummm, let's address that thumb sucking thing Miss Shiloh is rockin'.... mama still has work to do!

Now, how about a mama who has guided both of her girls well into 

The Way of The Side Eye....

I   don't givvadamb if you like the president's politics or not.

I don't care who says what....

Michelle Obama's Side Eye gives me Life!!  

Michelle Obama's Side Eye says more than the entire contents of Wikipedia!

I aspire to the Side Eye Mastery she posesses.  And the girls are obviously on their way to Side Eye greatness!

My one (true) male representative in the Side Eye Gallery of Greatness is the late legendary Bernie Mac.  Tell me this Side Eye isn't fierce...

Ouch!! You can almost feel the heat off that one!!

Now.... I have another Side Eye that can technically be called male, but c'mon, shim's too MUCH to fall into one category.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Side Eye Greatness that is.... RuPaul!!!

You Betta WORK!!!!

And while we're on the subject of Shim's Fierceness.... this next image just made me cackle for no good reason whatsoever.

The next two entries are the Anonymous but Awesome Side Eyes of Fury.

I wanna know who trained these young ladies, because by the time they're grown, their Side Eye Game will have reached epic proportions of lethality!  

And finally, the image I found confusing...

I'll tell ya how to find it.  Go to Google Images, search the term side eye.  Scroll to the bottom and click on page 9.  Again scroll down, and on the bottom left corner, you find this:

Miss NaturallyAlise herself!!

Now, believe me when I say, Alise is in posession of a Grand Champion Side Eye.

But people.... this is sooooooo not it!!!

This is a picture of Alise lookin' all sweet, smiling (don't let it fool ya) with her hairhat looking all emollient and whatnot.

This is Alise in all her pretty, poetic glory.

No Side Eye Here.

---------none.

Which made me make this face:

Edit:  Alise got at me on Google Chat, and being the incredible friend that she is, provided me with a link to a pic of her on TwitPic that shows her in all of her Side Eye Grandeur....

Behold!! The Side Eye of Death!

That's right! It's piercing, sharp, relentless! Be Amazed!!

So, who do you think is giving the Fiercest Side Eye of them all?  Discuss amongst yourself n allathatthere.


If you think you have a contender for Fiercest Side Eye in the History of Ever,
send 'em in to amymay117@gmail.com

C'mon, people... it's the freakin' INTERNET!!

**see my note below the post

So I ran across this story about a blogger who called a model a skank. We are gonna forget for a minute that the model might be a whatever and the blogger is probably "one to talk." That's semantics.... We aren't gonna debate the morals and maturity of name calling. We aren't even going to talk about the First Amendment Issues swarming this story (Google gave her up after served a court order).

We are gonna talk common sense here for a hot second. Something which seems to be missing from the whole tale.

Let us begin with this premise, the internet is world wide. Now let us build on that, millions and millions of people have internet access at any given moment in time. Our next building block, once you put something out into the web, you just really can't get it back. And finally, most bloggers I know don't blog with the intention of others NOT reading their posts. I think for the most part, the stuff we don't want published probably finds its way into a personal journal. I'm just sayin'.....

So, common sense (which I keep getting reminded isn't all that common) would tell us that once you say some ol' mean ish about someone on the internet, it's out there for good. And millions upon millions of people may or may not read it. And chances are, it's gonna get back to the person about whom the ish was spoken. And they are probably gonna be pissed.

Ok, now First Amendment aside... coz I really don't wanna debate that... let's say you posted that ish anonymously (which ol' girl apparently did). My take on that is.... coward. If you have enough of an opinion to open your yap, stand behind it. Be woman (or man) enough to own that ish and take the consequences.

I'm not saying you can't say that you find another person's actions or character to be offensive. I'm not saying that you can't voice that opinion. Hell, if you can show that the chick you called a skank behaves skankily, that's not even slander or libel... it's truth. But don't hide behind anonymity throwing mud....

Because what goes around comes around. If you don't want your words attributed to you, keep that thought between your ears. Once anonymity is stripped away, who looks like the bigger fool?

And as for the chick who got called the skank.... Well? Is it time for a reality check? Or a check on your behavior? I dunno.... but I promise, if I ever feel the need to tell you about yourself, you won't catch me hiding out behind a pseudonym or any of that mess!

**this is a pic of the blogger in question, and just so that there are no misunderstandings, Yes, dear, I am saying that I find your method of blogging to be cowardly, in my humble opinion. Do not misconstrue this as support for the model, I just don't like the way you handled yourself... not that what I like/dislike has a damn thing to do with it.

I think I just swallowed my tongue!!!

Ok, so it wasn't my tongue, but almost. I choked on my sweet tea.

Have you ever been in a room full of ppl (read your b/f or g/f's family) enjoying nice, casual conversation, feeling comfortable, let your guard down and then BLAM!! Someone says something that just totally brings your brain to a screeching halt??

Hmmm... have ya??

Something along the lines of "So, Miss Amy..... when are you gonna marry my son?"

I was taking a sip of iced tea when Marc's dad, the Good Reverend, asked that particular question. I almost choked to death in the effort NOT to do a spit-take. I tried to convince myself that he was playin'. Only, he wasn't. At. all. Period.

I looked at Marc, and he had the NERVE to be giving me this...

o_O

YES... A SIDE-EYE!!!!

I could not believe it!! Relax for one micromilisecond and kablooey!!!

As I glanced at Marc (who was giving me a (o_O) SIDE-EYE, for crying out loud!!), the Rev says,

"Naw, now.... don't look at him! I'm askin' you... arms can be twisted. I'm asking when you gonna marry this man. Don't look at him..."

I realized that all the conversation in the room had ceased. Somebody even turned the dang TV off in the other room!! I was on FULL blast! I think between the embarassment and the choking I might have turned a very vibrant shade of crimson. My ability to form sentences completely deserted me. And I'm sure I tested my Secret Platinum to its breaking point.

I didn't have any words... me, I know, right?? I always have something to say, but I had nuffin! Not a damn thang! I think I might have uttered something like "uhhh....wooooooooow..."

Marc's youngest brother, Marty was my salvation with the following, "Dang, Daddy!!"

After which, everybody (except the Reverend) laughed at my obvious discomfort. But at least the room wasn't silent anymore. The Reverend continued on with "I need some more daughter-in-laws, and you ain't gettn any younger Marcus...."

At which point Marc got his own O_o side-eye, and replied "Don't worry bout it, Daddy. We'll make sure we let you know first."

And just for the record, I'm not makin' any kinda guest list any time soon. How 'bout we just start with joinin' y'all for church and Sunday dinner? On second thought, ingesting anything that might obstruct my airway or fill my lungs with iced tea might not be my best option.... I'm just sayin'...