A little redecorating....

Just for no good reason, I changed things up here on the ol' blog. I'll probably change the colors again, but I think I'm ok with the layout. The thing is, despite my love for everything internet, I'm really pretty, well.... backwards when it comes to actually doing stuff that isn't virtually idiot proof. I was pretty proud of myself for figuring out how to change the colors on a predesigned template. I'm so glad the Google/Blogger ppl are so accomodating to those of us just above "knucklehead" status in our web design savvy. Lemme know what ya think!

National HIV/AIDS Testing Day

I wanna know how many of you are talking about it today. How many of you thought about it? How many of you even care?

Well, as a Red Pump Project blogger and Ambassador, I find it behooves me to

STAY IN YOUR FACE ABOUT HIV!!!

Once again, the virus is here. It's not going anywhere. The statistics on new infection rates are stunningly scary to me. We should know better by now, people.

I know it's hard to say to someone you care about, "Hey, boo.... let's get tested." But dang, that's what it comes to. Yes... it's hard. But it's your life.

There is great research going on in terms of meds and treatments. There are wonderful resources out there for those who are living with the virus. But keeping this discussion open, advocating for awareness, education, testing and prevention is the real way we are gonna get back the ground we lost to this illness.

So, once again.... here I am on my soap box, singing my same old song... get educated, get involved, get tested.

For more statistics, resources and education see The Red Pump Project website or visit the CDC online.

Locally, in the Southern 19 counties of Illinois, the HIV Consortium out of the Jackson County Health Department offers wonderful support programs and resources for those living with HIV/AIDS. Also, all of the County Departments of Health offer confidential, free testing. Each office has a Registered Nurse on staff who coordinates and facilitates services for those living with the virus.

No one has to be alone in this. Let's not let this conversation die out, or let the topic be put on the back burner. HIV is real, and it isn't going anywhere.

I Better Never Hear "I Can't" from My Son....

I came across this story on another blog I follow. This young lady has been homeless all her life. And yet somehow managed to keep herself on track, graduate high school, and not only be accepted at some of the top universities in the nation (most of the Ivy League schools, matter of fact), but earned herself a FULL RIDE at Harvard. So the next time I hear Eli telling me he can't do something.....

KA-POW!!

I'mma whip out this story and tell him "ION'T WANNA HEAR IT!! Now get that homework done and clean your room.... and while you're at it, you best be praising the Lord you got it so good!"

Thanks for the inspiration, Khadijah Williams! Read the story on the link or go to the LA Times online and check it out.

Gettn Heated--Mama Bear's Claws are Out!

I have learned a few things about myself today, thanks to Facebook. I have spent quite a bit of time off and on in a debate via status comments with a woman I consider to be one of my oldest friends. Now, I don't get down with throwin' the baby out with the bathwater, so my girl n I are gonna get past this difference of opinion and be cool once the fire in my belly dies down.

The source of the debate is over the now infamous email sent by Sherri Goforth, aide to TN Sen. Diane Black. My friend is taking up the side of the right to free speech. My position is this, free speech goes both ways... if she can say/send ignorant racist boolshyt, I can call her out for it.

Since I don't have her permission, I'm not going to post my friend's side of the argument. But I am gonna put up my comments. Then I'm gonna tell you what all of the back n forth taught me.

Hate to say it girlies, but on a personal level, it gets to me. If I met this woman on the street with my son in tow, would she wait til we passed by, or would she call Eli a spook to his face? I may be overly sensitive on the issue... and I don't know that it warrants all the rukus, but from what I heard, the woman is only sorry she sent the email from the "wrong account" and not for the hurtful nature of the email. It would be all ok in her world if only she hadn't gotten caught.

Then again, I'm the type of person who will publicly embarrass ppl who tell racist jokes... if it hurts my son, it hurts me.

It's a question of implictly condoning what you don't confront. The racism is what I object to. His politics are fair game just like any other president's. Agree with them or not, my son looks at this man, and for the first time in our history, sees someone who looks like him in the Oval Office. When "jokes" like this are made, how is it NOT supposed to send a message. I just have no tolerance for this kind of BS. And it really does show ol' girl's true colors-no pun intended.

I'm not saying the woman doesn't have the right to be ignorant. I'm not questioning her right to opinions. She totally has those rights, b/c this is a free society.

However, I have the responsibility as a mother to defend my son. And again... you wanna take shots at the President's policies, his screw ups or even his ideals, great. He signed up for it when he ran for office. It goes with the territory. And yes, I received emails like that about GWB... and promptly deleted them.

I agree that the way to combat the ignorance is to raise our children right.... and to me, that means confronting ignorance openly and head on. What kind of message am I sending my son if I turn my head and pretend I don't see it? Or condone it through silence?

I know only too well what Eli will have to face as he grows up. We have a neighbor who has openly called him a "yard ape" and a "lil nappy headed coon." I have struggled to explain why, when he has done nothing to warrant it,that man hates him. I have had, many times too many in his short life, to try to undo the damage of ignorance. If I won't be his champion, who will be?

And I'm sorry, I can't and won't let that pass as "just jokes." I know I'll never change that woman's mind. And I know she has the right to her opinion. But I also have my right to my opinion. I will continue to call racism out when I see it. I won't condone it with silence.

And for the record, I think the shots fired at Bristol Palin WERE bogus, Helen Keller jokes are insensitive, and any kinda reference to mental disability or developmental disability have been on my ish list since I worked at Sutton House with adults with developmental disabilities.

I hope you know that I luv ya, but like Kim, I think we are just gonna hafta agree to disagree on this.

I don't think it's a question of changing her mind, Jill. It's a question of changing her heart.

But if no one tells her they find her rhetoric and "humor" unacceptable, there is no incentive for self-reflection. Ignorance often times only requires a mirror to be held up to be recognized... so if the overall message the woman gets is that ppl are offended and find her "humor" in poor taste and hurtful, she will have motivation to rethink her beliefs and values. If it is unchallenged, what's the point. God can work miracles on an open mind, I'm just trying to pick the lock!

Forgive the sinner, not the sin... and what about repentance? From all of the news sources I have read, her apology was for sending this email from her work account. Is she sorry for what she said or just b/c she got caught? Because that is the read I got from it. I do forgive her, because Jesus forgives me, but she needs to know there are ppl out there not only angry about this, but hurt.

Ok, so what did I learn (or maybe just remember that I already knew)?

1. I love my son and will defend him and protect him with my life.

2. No matter how hard we try to say racism is dead, it only ain't.

3. There are lots of folks out there who will say they aren't racist, and maybe they really believe that, but who aren't willing to confront the issue, preferring to just hope it will go away.

4. I'm opinionated as hell, and when you combine the above plus this, ya get one hell of a heated debate goin on!

5. Human beings have an incredible amount of ugliness in their nature, but there is always someone or something else out there to "even it out" with love and beauty. What the Foe has meant for evil, the Lord can and will turn to His Glory!

What say you?

Meetin' the WHOLE Family!!

Ok.... 'nuff with the procrastinating and lazy already! Thanks everyone for being so patient with me. I just didn't have the umph last week to post. Work was a tad bit, well, hellish.... My fellow inmates at the Ranch can attest to that. (April, I expect a comment, Miss Ma'am.)

So, today's topic is The Wedding. My Marc's sister got married on the 6th. It was a really nice wedding. There were a few guests out there bad--who wears plaid bermudas, a sleeveless tee and topsiders to a wedding? Really?? I'm just sayin'..... but over all, the whole thing was lovely. Cyah (the bride) looked like a princess and the groom, Bill, was her prince. (No Purple Rain). The whole wedding party, in fact, looked like they could have come out of a bridal mag.

On to the reception.... the decorations were really beautiful and the DJ was hot (ok, so Marc was the DJ... I might be a little biased). But the people out at the spot were trippin' bout that air... they know they were wrong for not having that joint cooled down by the time the party started! Even before the dinner and dancing started folks were mopping their foreheads and wiping sweat off their necks! Just bogus!! But once they got it going, it cooled down nicely. Of course DJ Marc B. got the sweat rollin' again once the real party started! (Ok, ok.... I'm a LOT biased).

So, you might ask, lovely wedding and reception.... nothing to roast? Why post?

Because I met so many relatives waiting to meet "the girlfriend" that my head was spinning for three whole days with the names n faces!! Now, Marc n I have been down the couple road before, so this wasn't the first time I'd met some of them, but it was the first time I'd seen many of them since we got back together. Including his mother, and lemme tell ya, I was really not sure how that was gonna go. But his mom is really sweet and gracious. She hugged me and started prayin', but the music was bumpin' so loud, I really didn't catch half of what she was prayin' for... I'm pretty sure whatever evil was lurking in the building was rebuked post-haste, however! Then she told me how much she loves her son and how she wants to see him happy. After which she told me "I know he was happy with you before, and I don't know what happened between you. All I know is he seems to be happy with you again, so I hope you all make it work this time."

There were cousins, aunts, sisters and nieces where ever I turned... every one armed to the teeth with interrogation tactics that would make the CIA bow down with respect! It was definitely the female relatives in charge of the situation. I think the men knew they had no say in this one. One cousin, was particularly intense. I wish I had a picture of her *side eye* coz I'm pretty sure it would have met with resounding approval from The PBG and Luvvie. It pinned me to the wall, I'm telling you!! (Said side eye was the punctuation mark on the end of the following sentence: "Marcus is very special to this family, and he deserves someone who's gonna do him right....").

The other end of the spectrum was Marc's sister-in-law who about had our wedding planned by the time the cake was being cut! No matter how many times I repeated that no such wedding was currently even a topic of discussion, she wasn't hearin' it! By the time everybody was hittin' the floor for the compulsory Electric Slide, the woman was designing my dress!

The end result of all this was that my nerves were as frazzled as the ends of Bret Michael's bandanna wig by the time Marc and I left. I worried myself over it for a day and a half. And as much as I love him, Marc wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful. So, finally, I had to ask.... what's the verdict??

"Aww, boo... you cool."

So there you have it. I'm cool. Downright gushy for Marc.

Now to mentally prepare myself for the family reunion next month.... here we go again!

Just can't hang tonite, folks

I need to write a real post... and one is forthcoming chronicalling my boo's sister's wedding.  But it's not fixin' to be tonite.  I promise, it will be worth waiting for... However, tonight, I'm just jotting a quick hello to the blogosphere!  Like my eFriend, Awesomely Luvvie, I'm tahd!

The Ranch was a NUTHOUSE today. It was a no lunch, one drink of water, two pee breaks kinda crazy day, and I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained!! 

So, please be patient with me, and I will dazzle you with my limited literary brilliance! Very soon!

I LOVE SALES!!

I'm really not much of a shopper.  I have a very fixed idea of what looks good on me and what feels ok when I put it on.  Let's not mince words, here, I'm a big girl... and as such, I accept that there are things that a big girl just ought not wear.  I'm not tryin' to be lookin' all crazy and whatnot, so it behooves me to be choosy.

That said, I love, love, love finding a great bargain!!

I was shopping today out of necessity... Marc's sister is getting married Saturday.  Since Cherokee Workwear (nursing scrubs) isn't exactly appropriate wedding attire, and since I work tomorrow, I had to go today to find a dress.  Nothing like waiting til the last minute!

Now, there are stores that I habitually fall back on as my default position for clothes because they carry cute clothes in my size.  So I thought I would make a quick trip to Layne Bryant and be done with it.  Well, not quite.  Not today anyway.  They had hella cute casual clothes, but the dresses were all just uh-uh... nothing quite looked right on me.  So I checked out my other usual places.  Nothing.  Nada. Nil. Nope. Nuh-uh.

I was about to give up.  Looked like I was gonna fall back on a dress I had gotten a while back for another wedding.  Problem with that is that I needed shoes for it (broke the strap on the shoes I wore with them the last time).  I also needed to find a tie for Marc... lilac, the bride was very specific!  These combined needs led me to go to a store that I usually only frequent for bedding, curtains and jeans for my son.... good ol' JC Penny!  On my way to men's wear, I passed the women's department, and thought... eh, what the hell, can't hurt to look.  Well, I found a really cute dress.  In my size.  That didn't look like it broke any of my big girl rules.  I tried it on and ya know, the dang thing actually looked pretty good!  

I looked at the price tag.  $120.  Hmmm.... But wait!!!  There was a RED price sticker underneath the price printed on the tag... $60!  Ok, then! That works!  Now, shoes....  I make my way to the shoe department.  At first I'm not seeing anything I can walk in.  My mother used to tell me I walked like a potato farmer in heels, and she was right.  I'm just about to give up when I spot a sale rack.  I find a cute pair of black sandals... enough of a heel to be cute, but not so much as to hobble me.  Enough style to be cute, but substantial enough that they don't look like they're gonna break the first time I wear them.  Original price, $80.  RED sticker price $40.  

It looks like I'm gonna get away with a more than acceptable outfit for right at $100!  Score!

So I make my way to a checkout and hand my items over to be rung up.  The bright eyed, teeney-bopper manning the register goes through her standard "Did you find everything ok? Do you have a Penny's card? Would you like to apply for one?"  Yeah, yeah, sister, just give me my total! 

Then she says it........

"That comes to $65.17."

WHAT?? *Shaking head to hear better, confusion all up in the face*

"Did you get the shoes?"

"Yes, ma'am.... We're having a store wide clearance.  Your items were an additional 50% off today."

I dang near did a Praise Dance all up in the middle of Penny's y'all!! That little girl made my heart sing, she did!!  

I was so happy, I forgot all about Marc's lilac tie for a minute!  I was halfway out of the mall when I remembered.  But hey, STORE WIDE... my boo got a new dress shirt outta the deal, too.   

Join Me in the Praise Corner! (or Why I Heart Luvvie)

I don't know why, and really, does it matter, but I woke up feeling like a Blessed and Beloved child of God!  So I did what I do with most of the random thoughts and feelings I experience... I Tweeted it.  This started a short exchange between me (@amymay117 on Twitter) and one of the coolest bloggers on Planet Earth, AwesomelyLuvvie (@LuvvieIG on Twitter).  It went a lil sumthin like this:

me:  Feeling blessed and loved today! Yea, I know it's not my usual kinda tweet, but ya gotta give God praise and gratitude, too!

Luvvie:  @amymay117 YESSS Amy!!! You betta SAY DAT! The Big Man Upstairs rocks my socks. And he fights for my tights so I don't have to. *waves fan*

me:  @LuvvieIG I woke up feeling (dare I say it) Spirit Filled today!! I've reached out to some old "friends" *ahem* and put down some baggage...

me:  @LuvvieIG Lemme quit... I'mma be testifying on Twitter here in a minute!!

Luvvie:  @amymay117 Gurl u gon have me singing "This Little light of mine" on Twitter. Giving glory to God (passa, everyones, everyones)

me:  @LuvvieIG I'm on the second verse of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"... the Choir can't keep up!

Luvvie:  @amymay117 LOL! You besta SANG!!! The Qua (choir) Director in his Sunday Best is gon love you

me:  @LuvvieIG I heart you for appreciating this mood I'm in! LOL! God is Good!

Luvvie:  @amymay117 I appreciate some Lord-thanking anyday (b/c He is great). It's the Bible thumpers that make me go o_0

me:  @LuvvieIG The ones who carry the Book, but never open it??? Them folks ya mean?? mmmmmhmmmmmm.....

Luvvie:  @amymay117 And I'm talm bout the folks who u can't have a convo with w/o them shouting bout them being sanctified. Saved McHolysons

me:  @LuvvieIG Especially when their "ad campaign" isn't backed up by their actions....Loud McTalkerfaces

me:  @LuvvieIG OHHHH!!! What about the ones who act like being on the Church Board is a social accomplishment instead of a chance to Serve God?

Luvvie:  @amymay117 Some folks take their Head Usher duties VERY seriously. Them white gloves don't wear themselves!

me:  @LuvvieIG Let me keep my mood... I'm not perfect, just grateful and blessed. And that's a reason to say Amen!

me:  @LuvvieIG LOL! Them white gloves don't WASH themselves, either!

I know I don't always come across as someone you'd assume would be lovin' her some Jesus, but I am.  I know I'm cranky, sarcastic and a professional at profanity.  I had a child out of wedlock, ain't married to my man and I've got tattoos.  I'm a hot mess, an the Lord knows it.... but he's far from done with me.  And there's material there for Him to work with... I believe, I love, I care.  I may not wear Sunday best everywhere I go.  Maybe I don't always let people see the part of me that knows I'm nowhere and nothing without my God.  But it's in my heart every day, and I tell Him thankyou every day, and I have faith that all things eventually come to His Glory.

And Luvvie, you truly are Awesome! Thanks for sharing that little moment with me today and letting me be who I am (even if it is just on the intrawebs).... glad I eStumbled into your lifespace! You and the rest of the ePosse and the IGs are the Bees Knees!