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Mama Nay, I need a word with you...

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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Mama Nay, I need a word with you...

Warning:  Men, you might not want to continue reading. We are about to venture into the land of ladyparts and TMI. On the other hand, if you have women in your life of a certain age, you might wanna read on and get some insight.

Hey, Mother Nature.... can I call you, Mama Nay? 'Kay, thanks... it's Amy, remember me? No? Well, you oughta, you been clownin' me pretty hard for the last six or eight months, now. Not ringin' any bells yet? Well, lemme elaborate for you.

First of all, for 31 years of my life, you have made sure that I have a week and a half of discomfort and inconvenience. I know, you do that to the vast majority of women, it's part of the package. It's this new bullsnit you're on these days that really has me kinda aggy... the whole hot flash, moodswing, complexion chaos, inability to focus, emotional bullsnit.

This snit, this snit right here? No predictability, no rhyme or reason... at any random, inconvenient time at all any one, or combination, of these new pleasantries will smack me out of the clear blue. The hot flashes, while annoying, are at least easily recognizable. While the mood swings, irrationality, and ADD stuff isn't apparent until I look back and realize I just made an ass out of myself for no good reason. And it's not like little over reactions... it can't be that easy. It's  major blow ups over nothing, NOTHING, I tell ya!! 

Major over reactions like this:

Ok, so I have yet to destroy anyone's vehicle, but it could so totally happen!!

And here's the kicker... the other stuff, the usual monthly torment?? Still happening. And worse than ever!! Crampier, moodier, bloatier, heavier than ever before!!

What did I ever do to you? I ain't mess with your man, show up to a party wearing the same dress as you, or question your character, never, not ever!! I ain't did snit to you for you to be such a ragin' beyotch!

So what, I'm sayin' to you Nay, is you on some real shady business right here... and I'm 'bout tired of it. You need to decide which form of torment you like the best and stick to it.

Mama Nay, bish, you play too much.

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Anonymous Naturally Alise said...

I swear I can't stand that heaux either.... I think she kicks me repeatedly in the breasts while I am sleeping... I am convinced!

October 3, 2010 at 4:21 PM  

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