Pulling a grounded ship and other exercises in futility....

Ever watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? I watch them as often as I can... I love 'em. I'm a Johnny Depp stan. Even if he does look like he might have questionable bathing habits with a resultant unique personal odor, I will still watch any movie he's in. And if you disagree with me, you're wrong, that's all. I won't hold it against you though.

You know the scene in World's End where Jack is trynna pull the ship across the salt flat desert? He's pulling as hard as he can, in his delusional state, thinking he can make it move.

Yeah....


<<------------
This scene!

This scene is a nearly perfect analogy for certain things in my life.
It is the ultimate exercise in futility.




Ok, nevermind the lil' stone/crab critters that eventually come to his aid... I know the ship eventually moved, but it wasn't coz Jack's crazy ass was pulling it! In fact, by the time the crabs came to bail him out, he had collapsed from the futility of trying to pull a landlocked ship along salt flats! It wore his loony self right out. Alright, alright..... so it was the whole shock of the rock being a crab thing that made him pass out... whatever. Jeez, you're argumentative tonite!

Anyhoo... as I sit here, stressing about stuff that I think is unfair at the workjob, or injustices in the world, or the fact that try as I might to change certain things at home, they just seem to stay the same.... I feel like Captain Jack pulling the hell outta that rope. Putting all this effort into a task that is just not do-able. Getting, well... nowhere fast, and exhausting myself in the process.

So, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna let that rope go, and hang out 'til the crabs arrive. Or some such a thing...
You know what I mean.







This one is another of my favorite Captain Jack moments... "Well tha's ev'n more than less than unhelpful..."

I hate it when I can't fix things...(UPDATED)

Turquoise Ribbon for Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Awareness Day, March 31, 2010





Anyone who follows me on the Twittah or is a Facebook friend knows that my friend Adwina is going through the worst possible kind of parental hell on earth right now.

Dwina gave birth 10 days ago to a sweet, beautiful baby boy.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that he was born very sick, and has spent his whole life so far at Children's Hospital in St. Louis.

Every communication I have had with Dwina has been very hopeful, and everyone else I know who has talked to her has commented on how "upbeat" she has been.  And things are actually looking pretty good for Lil' Man at this point.

But today, on her FB status, Dwina finally let some of the hurt and anger out.

I, for one, applaud her!!  I wanna holler with her!  While we're all praying our collective asses off for Lil' Man's healing and for the family's comfort and support, I think it's perfectly normal, natural and expected for Dwina to be a lil' miffed at the Almighty.  I mean, she was a good pregnant mommy.  She went to the doc, ate well, took care of herself.... and it's just not fair that this arbitrary bullshit random congenital condition should befall Lil' Man.

And you know what?  I feel pretty sure that God ain't mad.  I think He's in His heaven, with a tear in His eye, saying to Himself, "You're right.  It ain't fair.  But I'm here.  We'll get through it, one way or another."

The Big Dude knows this is some ol' bullshit, and He understands that we're only human.  We tend to get in our feelings a little somethin' over stuff like this.  He gets it.  He made us, for cryin' out loud.  He knows how we are.

So Dwina... I'm glad you gave voice to those emotions.  The pressure of holding it back... or in, or down, or whatever... well, it could only result in disaster later.  I admire you for having the courage to let us see that you aren't impervious.  Like I told you on FB... If you didn't have moments like those, it would make you a Stepford Wife.  And that would be creepy and wrong.

I'm still prayin' my ass off for you all, girl.  And I'm holding that faith and belief in my heart that it's gonna be alright!




UPDATED (3/13/10 5:15pm):  Things are looking pretty good today!  Dwina's FB status from earlier today:

 "Blood transfusion went well!!! I got to do some care for him this afternoon!!! Which makes me feel like a mother!!! His fio2 is down to 73% and his o2 sats are great!!! He looks nice and relaxed!! Grandma sent me and Jeff videos of sis riding a bike, then checkin out the baby chicks at rural king!!! She looks like sheis having a blast at Camp Grandma/Papa!!!!! I get to see her tomorrow, YAY!!!"

To learn more about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) follow this link:

http://www.breathofhopeinc.com/

UPDATED (3/16/10 12:00pm)Things are again looking better!  Lil' Man was declared strong enough for surgery today, and is in the OR as I type this!  Expect news later this evening!

National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Ok, this post is late in the day.  Blame my laptop, coz it's trippin'.... might be time to upgrade to that Apple I keep thinking about.  But that's a post for another day....

Today is National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.... and it's time for my periodic rant a discussion about the virus again.

However, today instead of my usual statistics, facts and examples, I wanna say a couple of positive and personal things.  I have always said that my motivation to be involved with the Red Pump Project and HIV/AIDS awareness stemmed from my profession as a nurse.  Weeeeelllllll..... yeah, but naw.

A big part of it is that a friend I met about 18 years ago, and loved well, died of AIDS related pneumonia in 1998.  But here's the thing.  She had a daughter.  Her daughter was born before HIV was part of the picture.  However, she was still left to carry on with the stigma that "Your mama died of AIDS."

She didn't get resentful or bitter.  She started advocating.  She started talking and educating.  And she started doing this at about 16 years of age, when it is really not the easiest thing to do to go against the opinions of your peers.

She's an inspiration to me.  She went on to get a Master's in Social Work, and lives in Northern California, working as a family therapist.

The moral of the story, there is life after HIV.  Not just for the loved ones who lost someone to the virus, but especially for people who are infected and managing the virus.

Follow the links below for facts and examples!

Much love and blessings to all.  Get tested, know your status and protect yourself.

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com

http://www.theredpumpproject.com

http://www.raelewisthornton.com/

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/

http://www.aidsbeacon.com

Explain yourself, please!

Hello. Me again. I could apologize and explain myself for being all inconsistent, flaky and flighty and whatnot, but to quote my pal Tiha, "Kick rocks!" I'm just gonna say that there's been a lot going on in Amyland that has kept me an inconstant blogger and bereft of inspiration.

That said, where to start? All things being equal, let me give you some context... while I love autumn, the weather, the smells, the chill in the air, one thing I don't cope with well is the shortened daylight. Some years it's worse than others, but I have a touch of seasonal affective disorder. Fear not, I won't be swan diving off any bridges or anything. It's not that serious. I'm medicated! However, while most folks are counting down the days 'til Christmas this time of year, I'm focused on the solstice! Come on December 22!! The days start getting longer again, and I know I'm through the worst of it. Mood swings, irritability, melancholy... yeah, I'm just a barrel of freakin' laughs from about the third week in October until mid to late February. But knowing this about myself is half the battle. And it's manageable.

Then there is life. Work, home, relationship, friendships, finances.... all the normal stuff that most folks wrestle with... not to mention the hundreds of thousands of viruses and crap my son brings home from school. But that's material for another post!

Now, wait a minute!! Didn't I tell y'all to kick rocks?? That I WASN'T gonna explain myself?? Ok, then...

I have some exciting changes coming up in my real life this New Year! Many of you who know me in real life, and several of my might as well be in real life online friends, know that I applied for a management position at The Ranch. I didn't get it, but when one door closes and all that... I did get the next position I applied for just a couple weeks later. So, January 11, I start in my new role of Patient Care Coordinator. I'll be working evening shifts and five days a week... a big change from my three twelve hour day shifts a week, but I'll adjust.

I really wanna say thanks to everyone who supported me in the process of this life change.

Anyway, my hope is that now that my life is settling down and some of the uncertainty is cleared up, I'll be able to get back on my square, so to speak. And we're getting closer to the shortest day, so I'll be on the up side of that lil' issue soon, too.

A personal note to April... one of my co-workers and faithful readers (even tho she rarely comments, hmpf...) I know there were a few situations of late which gave you reason to hope for a rant or two. And they truly deserved the rant, I'll give ya that... I just didn't have it in me. I was plenty worked up, but just didn't feel the funny. And mean without the funny is just mean. And that's wrong. I'll do better next time!!

So, once again, everybody... kick rocks! I'm through explaining my non-explanation!