Obvious Is As Oblivious Does

So, sometimes I'm dense.  Other times, I'm pretty freakin' perceptive.  It really depends on how much sleep I've had  I care about the subject matter.  That's why it really shouldn't surprise any one who knows me that there are things I fail to notice until some time passes.  How much time?  I have no clue.  Didn't I just say I really haven't been paying attention?  I've had stuff going on, people.

Here's the part where the daring reader *pauses* gives me the *blank stare* o_o and asks what the he77 I been smokin'! (Newports, for the record...duh.)

In this particular situation, what I failed to notice is that I have been unfriended on the Facebook by some people with whom I work.  I'm pretty sure I know the reason for my unfriending, too.  I'm a "them" now.

In January, I transitioned from the role of a nurse doing direct patient care to the role of patient care coordinator, also known as a charge nurse.  In essence, what that does is puts me on the other side of the "us and them line" in a lot of folks' eyes.  I'm not really management, but I'm not really not management, either.  Yeah, it confuses me too.  What I do is a lot of educating, some problem solving, some helping, some fixing patient/family issues, a lot of meetings for projects, a truck load of stuff I'm still trynna figure out, and (here's the fly in the ointment) supervision.  And, yes, I share the office with my managers (yep, I work for two managers) and the clinical educator.  So, I guess maybe I am a "them" and just haven't fully accepted it yet *Kanye shrug* who knows.

But seriously, back to the FB thing...

Recently, the corporate level management/administration came to the conclusion that people needed some guidance as to what was okay to post or not post on a social networking site.  And let's face it, once something hits the interwebs, for better or worse, it's there.  For better or worse, good, bad, ugly or indifferent... the cyberverse has it on lock.  And here's a fact, we work with flesh and blood human beings who are going through some kinda something or they wouldn't be in the hospital.  Said human beings have feelings and so do their families.  Said feelings are probably being experienced acutely and with raw nerve endings because of the some kinda something to which I alluded previously.  Another fact to face is that these patients and their families have a right, ethically and legally to expect their privacy to be respected.  And yet another fact is that we are allegedly grown-a$$ people who understand that there is something to be said for the concepts of professionalism and respect for ourselves, our peers and our facility.  But I guess I assume that common sense is common... which, alas, it only ain't!

But new policy + new role = Amy gets unfriended.


(Which apparently had such an impact on me that I'm not sure exactly when it happened, so you know I lost sleep over it.) 

And I said all of that in order to say this...

What is it that is so compelling to post that one would feel the need to make sure one of the "thems" doesn't see it?  I mean, really?  I guess that I've never felt a burning desire to put a patient's business out there like that.  What if, even unintentionally, I caused a patient or a patient's family stress, embarassment or pain because I was trynna be the cool kid on Facebook?  What kinda jackass would I have to be to use someone else's misfortune as fodder for my status update?  (Okay, obviously this doesn't apply to ex-'s, hoes, pimps and scallawags... as long as they aren't patients in the hospital that employs you!)


So, if that's the kinda twisted crap that keeps you warm at night, well, that's on you.  And if it makes you feel more secure that we aren't Farmville Neighbors any more, fine.  But for the record, I've got better sh!t to do than police folks' Facebook walls.  Just whatever happens, remember, when you post a status about that "Crazy lady on 8 medical," and her son, the cage fighting redneck, meets you in the parking lot after your shift (coz he saw your status on his cousin's girlfriend's news feed and recognized you as Mama's nurse).... you brought that mess on yourself!

I Don't Hafta!! So There!!

Admittedly, I've been kinda stressed and angsty the last couple of weeks. Mostly revolving around some dysfunctional-since-the-dawn-of-time family stuff.... and trust me, I thought about putting all the involved parties on blast. I truly did. I thought about giving all 6 of my readers the full onslaught of my angst, chapter and verse.

Then I had a second thought. Which was this: what's the point? Will it change any of it? Nah. Will it even make me feel that much better? Ummmm.... nope. Is any of it likely to result in any humor or in any way produce a giggle? Not so much. Unless, of course, I get into my one aunt's Kabuki Theatre makeup and her non-existant eyebrows... and that's just likely to get mean. So, there is no redeeming social value to putting the fam on blast.

So what to do with the stress and angst?

Well, dear friends, I did the unthinkable. I engaged in some self-reflection. Yeah, I know. WTF? But you know what they say... whoever they are... if you can't change the situation, change yourself/your perspective/your reactions... allathatthere.

So... my conclusions? My conclusions/course of action were surprisingly kindergarten in nature. I came away with the following regarding my family, which I hope you find mildly entertaining/informative/useful. (I'm big on the forward slashes today, huh?)

1. You're not the boss of me! Just because you tell me you made plans doesn't obligate me to those plans. I'm a grown woman who can say, nicely, "I'm sorry. That won't work for me."

II. I don't wanna play dress up!! (and I won't, b/c You're not the boss of me!) I am too old to be playing games where I pretend to be someone you approve of... I am me, flaws n all. Take it or leave it.

C. Boys are goofy!! (and predictable) A good friend had some issues this week... I'm throwin' this one in for her. All is working out well on that front, tho, dear readers, so do not despair!

IV. I know you are, but what am I? Just b/c someone has an opinion about me, does not make that opinion written down as TRUTH.

6. Bullies suck! In the end, when you peel away the layers... the bullies are always really unhappy people underneath it all. They throw their weight around to feel some sort of control/power/superiority. But really they are just pitiful and sad.

So there you have it. My musings on life's current events, broken down kiddy style!

I'm just sayin'.... some things fellas need to know about chicks....

The following post is of the old copy/paste variety directly from my old MySpace blog.... Yes, that's where I got bitten by the blog bug.... Don't act all self-righteous, I'm sure I'm not the only blogger that's moved out of the MySpace 'hood to better blogging real estate. I should have gone through and edited this more thoroughly. You know, put in capital letters n whatnot... cleaned up the punctuation and the grammar, but it kind of amuses me in its current state. I don't remember exactly what was going on at the moment that I wrote it, but you can be sure Marc was involved in some kind of foolery or another. Anyway.... it's one of the few that I felt were ok enough to pack up and move over to my new eCrib here at Blogspot. Re-reading it, I have come to the conclusion that the whole of the post can probably be summed up with number 5 alone... hmmmmm. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy it! After my last offering, I wanted to post something a with a little lighter mood...

first of all, fellas, i could get my chicks' union card yanked for this. however, i think it might benefit all of us if y'all knew some of this.....so, at the risk of my union membership, here we go....

1.first, almost all of us chicas are suckers for the small sweet things. a call or txt at an unexpected time, a kiss on top of the head. not letting go of a hug until after ya girl lets go.....these kinda things earn you big points, guys. the grand gesture every now and then is fine, it's appreciated, and sometimes called for. but it's the little everyday things that remind us we matter to you.

2.the flip side of this is that we are quick to feel ignored. this can be avoided by keeping us informed. most of us don't want chapter and verse of your day, a general overview is fine. simply hey, gonna be busy. call as soon as i can.....blah blah blah.....knowing it's your schedule, not a burning desire to avoid us is big in our books.

3.ya girl has "needs" too. don't forget that in the scheme of things. you think i'm talkin about sex, don't ya....well, that's good. but i'm talkin about other stuff. we need to feel secure, so when we do the "are we ok" thing, don't roll yer eyes, just say "yea, baby, we're fine" (unless we aren't, then refer to number 4). we need face time. especially when we know your life is a circus. if you're able to cut out an hour for your girl when we know your runnin crazy, well that's at least as good as 24 hours when we know you got nothin to do......see number 1.

4. if there's something wrong, tell us. we sense it anyway, and the waiting for the other shoe to drop sucks the life out of us. we might react badly. no promises, but usually, we will be able to get it together and work it out. now, this really runs the risk of losing me my union card, if you know that she ain't the one for you, that she's just a rest stop on the way to your future wife's world, cut ties. if you're just spending time to kill time, you're wasting her time. the man she's waiting on might pass her by if she's attached to you. and the longer you put it off, the worse it's gonna be when it actually ends.

5. saying "i love you" is wonderful. but remember, guys, don't say it more than you show it. know what i mean?

6. there are certain things we say that will tip you off to impending trouble. these include, but are not limited to "fine, nothing, whatever, i got this, i'm good." in general, sentences of three syllables or less spoken in a low tone with quiet volume.....yeah, yer in for it.......

7.when we cry, don't tell us to stop. just hold us, and let us get it out. we know it makes you uncomfortable, and we are sorry for that, but sometimes, the world just comes down around us and we just gotta......so when that happens, fellas, just hold ya girl and love her.

ok, sisters, if i'm not out of the union and you can think of anything these guys need to know, add it in a comment. if you think i'm way off base, leave that in a comment. guys, feel free to leave comments or questions too. not sayin we'll answer, but ya never kno........