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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Luvologist made me think....Damn him!!!

Trust.  The Luvologist asks:  Today's Love Question of the Day  (Love QOD) was "what is Trust? And how do you know when you can apply it?"

In 140 characters or less??!!  Maaaaannn! What are you tryna do to us, bae? Make people have brain overload?  The question was asked on Twitter (if ya don't know by now, ppl, Google that ish! I can't keep tellin' y'all) thus the character limit--that's all the space you have for a single update.


Trust is a hell of a deep subject.  It's like ice cream.   It goes from your basic, generic superficial vanilla to the depth and complexity of a Ben n Jerry's masterpiece (mmmm.....Chunky Monkey! bananas and chocolate and walnuts, OH MY!)  

You have the trust you extend to the world just by walking out of your front door....that the first person you meet on the street won't dot yer eye for no reason, for instance.  There's the trust you extend to your coworkers--I do my job, you do yours.  Trust for acquaintances, we'll kick it and whatnot, part ways on good terms and go on with our lives.  These are just a few examples of the store brand varieties of trust.  This is the trust you have to maintain on a daily basis to function in the world.  It's necessary, limited and conditional.  It's only gonna take one time for your neighbor to steal your newspaper or purposely let their dog sh*t in your yard, and that trust is pretty much done.  

The deeper, more intimate varieties are the coffee-almond-mocha ice cream of the trust continuum.  That's the best friend who has proven they can be trusted with your biggest secrets because they've kept all your little ones.  That's the sister who knows you so well that you don't hafta say a word when your heart is breaking--she's there for you, just like you knew she would be.  That's the lover with whom you're free to share your self, heart, mind and soul.

But where does it all come from.....?

I think it starts with that little seed of faith.  You don't know that guy at the bus stop isn't gonna push you under the bus as it rolls up, you just have to believe it's gonna be ok to wait on that bus and that nothing untoward is gonna go down.  It starts with giving over your little secrets, hoping that they get kept, but willing to take the chance that they won't....allowing that trust to build and grow.  Nurturing it and nudging it along like a mother teaching her child how to walk.  It starts with believing that lover isn't out to make a fool of you and break your heart...going into it knowing both the risks and potential gifts, willing to let it flower in its own time.  So it goes.

But, just as difficult as it to grow, it is just as easily broken.  It is a fragile thing, trust.  Especially the gourmet variety.  The more of yourself you have put into a relationship, the more you trust yourself to another person, the more voluntarily vulnerable you become, the easier that trust is to damage and destroy.  And the harder to restore.

So what is it?  I guess it's how we function in the world without losing our minds.  When do we extend it? Every minute of every day, with varied results....some wonderful, others rending.  That's still too long for a Tweet (it's another Twitter reference for some of y'all who don't know).  But it's what I think. . . . . for what it's worth.

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Blogger The Pretty Brown Girl said...

I love your extended metaphor!

This is an excellent break down. "What is trust" is one thing I can never seem to answer effectively. It's such an intangible, that words escape me. I just know what it is. I also know I struggle with it, a lot. I'm working on it,though.

Great post, NurseAmy!

February 18, 2009 at 8:58 PM  

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