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Saturday, January 3, 2009

real talk, big girl 2 big girl

there are fools out there, and i don't know why, who make little girl clothes in big girl sizes. even more tragically, there are big girls out there who will inevitably buy and wear the damn things!!
now ladies, i am not saying that we don't all deserve to have and wear clothes that look cute and make us feel like we the ish.....but if there is one thing i know in this world it is the following: just because it exists in my size, does not mean i'm meant to wear it.

the following are just a few guidelines. it's all common sense and looking in the mirror.

1. what miss thang, a size 4, has on is
not gonna look the same on you if you are a size 24. the fabric will not hang the same, the lines will not follow the same shape and if you are showing any portion of a fat roll, well, SHAME ON YOU!!

2. tight low rise jeans are for skinny girls with no hips or ass!! they look ridiculous on girls with curves and absolutely foolish on fat girls (yes, i said fat girls. i'm a fat girl, and chances are if you took offense to that you are, too.) it is time to confront and end the evil that is the
muffin top!

3. tailored is fine,
skin tight is unacceptable!!! i'm sorry, boo, but tight just does not work for us. the outline of every lump, bump, roll and bulge is unnecessary and just wrong, on so many levels and in soooooo many languages!! and, if i see it, i only will talk ish about you!! for real!!! i would expect you to do the same for me.....

4. please, my big girls, please, i'm sayin' please....wear a bra that keeps the girls in the right neighborhood!!!! a bad bra, bad business!!! if they are anywhere near your bellybutton, take yourself to the nearest store with quality intimate apparel and get fitted!!! a properly fitting bra does wonders for the way your clothes look on you and in the way you carry youself. your boobies do not belong on either side of your belly button.

5. the following specific items of clothing are absolutely to be avoided by large n lovelies: bicycle shorts, sports bras as "tops," miniskirts more that 4 inches above the knee, crop tops, tube tops, most halter tops and bikinis. and at the risk of being TOTALLY fukn obvious, skinny jeans are only for uber skinny girls!!!

6. avoid overcompensation. baggy, shapeless, oversized.....all this equals blob. don't fall into the trap.

7. classic is classic and timeless is timeless. clean lines, tailored fit and keepin it simple, all good starting points.

now, again, ladies, each and every one of us deserves to feel like a diva. each deserves to have clothes that fit them well and look cute and make you look in the mirror and say "DAYUM, i'm fly!!!" but just because the same outfit you saw on your thin, modely looking coworker comes in your size, well that doesn't mean it's for you. can and should are very different words. they are not synonyms and are not interchangeable. just coz you can wear it does not mean you should. take your time. try lots of things on. find an honest friend who will be only too glad to tell you when you are about to put yourself out there bad.

i work with a lot of different people from a lot of different walks of life. i see the good, bad and ugly every day. please, ladies, help me make the world a more beautiful, less hoochie and less wtf kinda place. remember, a little thought and effort goes a long way!!!

blessings to you all

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