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I survived week one!!

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Friday, January 15, 2010

I survived week one!!

Ok, so I started a "new" job at my job... huh?? Basically, I'm doing different stuff at the same place.  So Monday at the Ranch was a blur.  Tuesday was spent in a seminar.  So by Tuesday evening, I had started to panic.  Yeah, I know, ME? Panic??  Unheard of!!! At work, anyway...

The thing that kicked off the panic was the thought "Oh, lawd... I think I made a mistake!!"  I was forseeing a world where I was stuck in meetings, seminars and bureaucracy, devoid of contact with actual patients!
And I thought, "Wait a minute... fixin' sick people is what I'm good at...really good at...Why did I leave that?"

Yep... I was in full "Worst Case Scenario" mode!!  I mean, not to hype myself up or be arrogant or anything, but I'm pretty good at the whole bedside nursing thing.  Nursing is what I'm meant to do.

And then it occurred to me... It wasn't just that I was feeling like I was going to miss taking care of a team of patients on a daily basis, though that was part of it.  It was the idea of giving up control.  It was the concept of trusting the care of "my" team of patients to another nurse.  It was the thought that "No one will do this the way I would."

And I realized I really need to just get the hell over myself!!  I mean, it's not like I'm Florence Nightengale or Clara freakin' Barton!!  And the job I've moved into is important, too.  Hopefully I can do the job justice.  And I will be at the bedside as often as I can, coz I love it!

So we'll see what next week brings!

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