WTF?

Well, originally, I was gonna compose a succinct, witty.... nay, pithy!... account of the family antics of the last week. But I lack the mental endurance to relive those precious moments (watch out, y'all... sarcasm drippin' all over the place. You don't wanna slip...)

So, instead, I'm delivering up snippets of stuff I have heard over the last week that has caused a permanent furrow in my forehead.

"Don't worry about anything, I have your weekend planned," my aunt.

"Marc's not here. He'll be my dad when he marries my mom," my son to his teacher at open house.

"Oh, look... whose little colored child?" random distant relative at my uncle's memorial service.

"Wow, those hotdogs look good," same person as above, regarding some boiled hotdogs at the luncheon after.

"You can't leave now, we're going to play pinochle," again, my aunt. I have never in my life played pinochle... that was my mom. She's dead, thanks.

"Mom, can I have a cup of coffee?" Riiiiiight, Eli. I'm not fallin' for that one. I know better than to caffeinate a six-year-old.

Yeah, it's been that kind of week.