random and pressing details

January 17

2011-01-17T00:04:00.000-06:00

Everybody has a story behind their "Innanets Name." I'm no exception to that. Amymay is something that Mr. Man used to call me back when we first met. And his birthday is January 17. Thus: amymay117. It started out as my email addy. Then as my username on the myspace... and so on.

Back in 2004 the 117 part took on a new meaning. My mom died on January 17. I remember standing in the hospital, saying my goodbyes, trying to wake up from a living nightmare... and thinking how inappropriate it was that Mom was dying on Marc's birthday. Thing is... we weren't even together at the time (and hadn't been since 2001), but he was always part of my consciousness. I kinda felt guilty, thinking about him when I should have been thinking about her.

When we got back together, January 17 rolled around for the first time, and that guilt fell away. See, I never really believed in coincidence, and I still don't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that my mom chose this date to cross over. I'm saying that Mr. Man's birthday being on the same date helps me to remember to celebrate. Celebrate her life rather than mourn a loss. Celebrate his bornday. Celebrate the way that lives converge, even when it seems that they have taken seperate paths. Celebrate love, and family, and beginnings, and life.

So that's the story of my online name. It's kinda dramatical, but that's how I roll!
Anyway... Happy Birthday, boo!! And, Mom, I love and miss ya!

Well it's a new year and whatnot...

2011-01-12T23:35:00.001-06:00

Lots of things have been happening in my world lately... well, in everybody's world to be sure, but I'm self-absorbed right now, so we'll be talnbout me, #thenkyavurrrymurch.

So this is a post purely to say that there are finna be changes coming, to my blogs, in my life, and in my goals. Don't worry (all seven or eight of y'all that be checkin' for me) it's all for the good. I'm regrouping, refocusing, readjusting and all that kinda stuff. So there will be a brief continuance of my semi-hiatus, and then I'm coming back, all serious and shxt.

In the mean time, can someone explain this to me please?

Wait... Let's let Red Foreman explain it......

Thanks, Red.

Hi, Neighbor! Can we talk about your dog a minute?

2010-12-14T17:22:00.001-06:00

Today I have a "Sternly Worded Letter," (as my eHomey Luvvie would put it) for my neighbor in the brick house across the side street. Sometimes she stays doing the most...

Not FooFoo, just remarkably similar

Dear NeighborLady,

Hey, how you doooooin'? We have been on wavin' and noddin' terms for going on five years now. And we have both had our dogs for about the same amount of time. I must admit, your lil' Yorkie is the epitome of adorable.
He really is. And I don't blame him for the smelly, steaming messes he leaves in my yard. After all, he's only doing what dogs do. However, I have a couple of issues with YOU.

See, the way I figure it, a dog who is housebroken will only do his business wherever he is allowed to do his business.

Can you teach FooFoo how to do this? Or at least teach him how to Dougie?

That's where you come in, dear lady, being the dog owner and all. For the most part, I haven't said much over the years as I have watched you walk past my home, on the sidewalk, and your dog has lifted a leg on my trees. I have kept my mouth closed as I watched your precious lil' froofroo cop a squat on the curb side grass, and then watched while you walked away and left it to biodegrade in its own stinky time. Even though never ONCE have I, nor any of my family, taken Roger the Rat Terrier to defile your immaculate lawn.

Lately, though, you have been pushing the bounds of my kind and understanding nature.

First, I noticed you come out of your house with the froofroo dog, cross the street, allow your dog to poop in my yard, and then immediately return to your house and go inside.
Your dog toileting in my yard while you were walking him is one thing. Purposefully crossing the street with the intent of letting your Yorkie use my lawn for a latrine, though?

REALLY??

Today, however, you have surpassed all limits of patience and tolerance. My kindness and understanding came to an abrupt end at about 4:15pm.

It was then that I happened to look out my front window to witness you, dear lady, walk your pooch up my sidewalk and allow the hairball to lift his leg on my kid's bicycle!
To say I am aggravated, irritated, angered, or incensed is to drastically understate my level of pissedoffitude.

See, here's the thing... I know I don't have the best landscaped lawn on the street. I know I have an eight-year-old that leaves his toys and stuff in the yard. I know my house is starting to need a coat of paint. But that doesn't mean I don't care at all. It means I'm a working mom, and when prioritizing my life, spending time with my kid takes precedence over yard work. It doesn't mean that I welcome your snookywooky's little biological care packages.

It damn sure doesn't mean that I'm going to tolerate the blatant disrespect and unneighborliness you displayed this afternoon.

MY SON'S FREAKIN' BICYCLE, FOR THE LOVE OF SOCKS!!
NO MA'AM!!

See, I can't even let my son see how truly irate I am right now. Why?
Well, because you're a teacher at his school, and I'll be damned if he ever says a disrespectful word to you.
Despite the fact that you let your dog defile his favorite toy.

I hope you're pleased with yourself, Mrs. A. I hope you are pleased.
Again, I borrow from Luvvie... You, Ma'am, are a classless wonder!

Contemptuously Yours,
E's Momma

Reblogging Coz Luvvie's feelin' the Spirit today...

2010-12-12T17:09:00.000-06:00

I posted this over a year ago (close to two now, I guess). Anyhoo, Luvvie's been all up in my newsfeed and on my dash and in the timeline in a blessed and highly favored kinda way today, and she made me think of this convo and of this post. So here it is for ol' time's sake!

I don't know why, and really, does it matter, but I woke up feeling like a Blessed and Beloved child of God! So I did what I do with most of the random thoughts and feelings I experience... I Tweeted it. This started a short exchange between me (@amymay117 on Twitter) and one of the coolest bloggers on Planet Earth, AwesomelyLuvvie (@LuvvieIG on Twitter). It went a lil sumthin like this:

me: Feeling blessed and loved today! Yea, I know it's not my usual kinda tweet, but ya gotta give God praise and gratitude, too!

Luvvie: @amymay117 YESSS Amy!!! You betta SAY DAT! The Big Man Upstairs rocks my socks. And he fights for my tights so I don't have to. *waves fan*

me: @LuvvieIG I woke up feeling (dare I say it) Spirit Filled today!! I've reached out to some old "friends" *ahem* and put down some baggage...

me: @LuvvieIG Lemme quit... I'mma be testifying on Twitter here in a minute!!

Luvvie: @amymay117 Gurl u gon have me singing "This Little light of mine" on Twitter. Giving glory to God (passa, everyones, everyones)

me: @LuvvieIG I'm on the second verse of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"... the Choir can't keep up!

Luvvie: @amymay117 LOL! You besta SANG!!! The Qua (choir) Director in his Sunday Best is gon love you

me: @LuvvieIG I heart you for appreciating this mood I'm in! LOL! God is Good!

Luvvie: @amymay117 I appreciate some Lord-thanking anyday (b/c He is great). It's the Bible thumpers that make me go o_0

me: @LuvvieIG The ones who carry the Book, but never open it??? Them folks ya mean?? mmmmmhmmmmmm.....

Luvvie: @amymay117 And I'm talm bout the folks who u can't have a convo with w/o them shouting bout them being sanctified. Saved McHolysons

me: @LuvvieIG Especially when their "ad campaign" isn't backed up by their actions....Loud McTalkerfaces

me: @LuvvieIG OHHHH!!! What about the ones who act like being on the Church Board is a social accomplishment instead of a chance to Serve God?

Luvvie: @amymay117 Some folks take their Head Usher duties VERY seriously. Them white gloves don't wear themselves!

me: @LuvvieIG Let me keep my mood... I'm not perfect, just grateful and blessed. And that's a reason to say Amen!

me: @LuvvieIG LOL! Them white gloves don't WASH themselves, either!

I know I don't always come across as someone you'd assume would be lovin' her some Jesus, but I am. I know I'm cranky, sarcastic and a professional at profanity. I had a child out of wedlock, ain't married to my man and I've got tattoos. I'm a hot mess, an the Lord knows it.... but he's far from done with me. And there's material there for Him to work with... I believe, I love, I care. I may not wear Sunday best everywhere I go. Maybe I don't always let people see the part of me that knows I'm nowhere and nothing without my God. But it's in my heart every day, and I tell Him thankyou every day, and I have faith that all things eventually come to His Glory.

And Luvvie, you truly are Awesome! Thanks for sharing that little moment with me today and letting me be who I am (even if it is just on the intrawebs).... glad I eStumbled into your lifespace! You and the rest of the ePosse and the IGs are the Bees Knees!

World AIDS Day... And I'm Tardy!!!

2010-12-01T23:59:00.000-06:00

I have a good excuse for being late... really!! You see, I'm doin' the most right now, and it's almost the end of the semester, and I'm old, and I'm tahd!! So I'm recycling the post I wrote this past March for National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I promise you, I'll blog on semester break... I have a couple of wonderful stories about how I almost murked a chick in my Research and Practice class...

But in the mean time... here's the rerun.

Ok, this post is late in the day. Blame my laptop, coz it's trippin'.... might be time to upgrade to that Apple I keep thinking about. But that's a post for another day....

Today is National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.... and it's time for ~~my periodic rant~~ a discussion about the virus again.

However, today instead of my usual statistics, facts and examples, I wanna say a couple of positive and personal things. I have always said that my motivation to be involved with the Red Pump Project and HIV/AIDS awareness stemmed from my profession as a nurse. Weeeeelllllll..... yeah, but naw.

A big part of it is that a friend I met about 18 years ago, and loved well, died of AIDS related pneumonia in 1998. But here's the thing. She had a daughter. Her daughter was born before HIV was part of the picture. However, she was still left to carry on with the stigma that "Your mama died of AIDS."

She didn't get resentful or bitter. She started advocating. She started talking and educating. And she started doing this at about 16 years of age, when it is really not the easiest thing to do to go against the opinions of your peers.

She's an inspiration to me. She went on to get a Master's in Social Work, and lives in Northern California, working as a family therapist.

The moral of the story, there is life after HIV. Not just for the loved ones who lost someone to the virus, but especially for people who are infected and managing the virus.

Follow the links below for facts and examples!

Much love and blessings to all. Get tested, know your status and protect yourself.

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com

http://www.theredpumpproject.com

http://www.raelewisthornton.com/

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/

http://www.aidsbeacon.com

Theory Revisited

2010-10-28T19:45:00.001-05:00

About a year ago, I wrote a guest blog post for The Latte Mug, NaturallyAlise and Eyesqueen's blog. In light of some of the stupidity I've seen on the web lately (African slave Halloween costumes, Sarah Silverman in blackface), I wanted to repost it here. We need to do better. We need to be better.

"My theory on that is.... "

I say that a lot. Just ask Alise if you don't believe me. I have a theory on almost everything human nature-ish. I think I get it from my mom. She was an observer of people... dare I say, she was an EXPERT observer of people. She almost coulda been an anthropologist or a sociologist or some such thing. (She wasn't though, she was a hairdresser... which is a kissing cousin to bartender in terms of hearing people's life stories and whatnot... but I digress). I also tend to be a bit on the analytical side. I like to peel away until I get to the core of how something works... I must understand the form and the function, if you will. And I tend to worry at things until I feel I do have a grasp on them.

Anyway, add my Theory OCD to my self-diagnosed ADD, and you get an endless train of thought that jumps the track on average every 5 minutes. Which is probably why I love Twitter so much. In terms of blogging, I'm probably lucky to get through a paragraph before my entire topic runs in a diametrically opposed direction!! See what I mean?

Today, I have a theory (or two) to share on racism/bigotry. Now, before I start, let me first establish that 1.) with me, "theory" and "opinion" are pretty close to synonymous, and 2.) I'm a common garden variety white girl. The closest I have ever come to personally experiencing racism or bigotry has been on behalf of my biracial son and in his defense. I do not pretend to understand the feelings and repercussions that follow being on the receiving end. I'm just spoutin' off about what I've observed and my theories about the jackasses on the giving end. I've given the topic a lot of thought due to the fact that my son is biracial. As his mother, I must at least attempt to understand, so I can help him navigate the world around him. (At least until he turns 18 and is outta my house... but that's a blog for another day).

In the scheme of things there is a continuum of bigotry (this is my beginning premise). I think to one extent or another, every one has a smidgen of it in us. It's about knowing where people fall on that scale. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and make a sweeping blanket statement: If someone (especially a melanin-deficient someone) says they "aren't racist" they are lying to themselves and/or you.

With that said, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle... this train makes erratic stops and changes in direction. The management is not responsible for any damage to property, limb or mental health that may result from the following trip through my brain. Thank you and enjoy the ride.

First up is Mr. Blatant. He's the guy who calls you out of your name, to your face. He's the one who revels in stirring shit up and causing outrage. However, in a sense, he's the safest. HUH?? (Give me a minute, I'm going somewhere with this). He's a KNOWN COMMODITY. No shame in his game, he's a bigot and proud of it. His whole lifespace is filled with "I'm a racist, and what??" rhetoric and behavior. The point is, you can see him coming a mile away. And forewarned is forearmed. Clearly, he's on one extreme of the spectrum.

Next, we have Mr. Blatant's first cousin, Mr. Covert. His sentiments are identical to his cousin's, but he's a little more world savvy. This also makes him a lot more dangerous... he's the one who's gonna smile in your face and stab you in the back. He knows that his opinions and beliefs will be censured. He knows that he has to "make it look good." Unfortunately, this jackass likes to run for public office and shit. He usually gives himself away somehow, though. Be it through a slip of the tongue, or because he has a membership at some "exclusive" country club, or because he's just a little too willing to make excuses for Mr. Blatant. This guy is the first one to yell "reverse racism." He has spent much of the last 20 years or so hollering about how the real oppressed group is "white middle aged men." He gets nan from me but the side-eye.

Now, down the street and over a block we will wander into the neighborhood of Mr. and Mrs. Don'tGetOutMuch. I qualify the next statement by saying this: there is no such thing as harmless racism. The harm done may be unintentional, but that doesn't excuse the behavior, and they must be taught. These are the people that due to upbringing and circumstance haven't had their cultural horizons broadened. In other words, wasn't nan but white folks where they were raised. These are the ones who stupidly put their feet in their mouths, then jam those bad boys in far as they'll go trynna talk their way out of it. In their defense, a good number of these folks will at least try to change their evil ways once they realize they have evil ways that need changing. And not to rag on BET, but it doesn't help when the only exposure to a culture is less than stellar. And the Don'tGetOutMuch family usually gets their ideas about other cultures through media exposure.

On the other side of town is the Enlightened family. They are educated. They took Cultural Diversity, African American Studies, Women's Studies AND Comparative Religions in college, by gummy!! You can't tell them not a gatdamn thing. They will argue to the death that they have not a prejudiced, racist nor bigoted bone in their bodies. But they lie. Primarily to themselves. Just let's wait and see what happens when their little Enlightened progeny (who might actually be a little more enlightened than Mom n Pop) bring home a boy or girl friend who happens to be from a different culture. I'll tell you what will happen.... sphincter tone. The Enlightened's will suddenly turn into the tight-asses... at least until they have time to adjust. (Guess what house AmyMay grew up in....)

Next is my personal pet peeve.... the Wannabes. This is pretty self explanatory. Usually younger white people trying to jack culture to fill the void.... because, really, white folks,,, not a lot going on with ours. (Except for our penchant for doing dangerous and life threatening crap for no good reason... who swims with sharks?? I mean really...)

The thing with this group is that they convince themselves that they are sooooo damn "down" (word to Tanya Morgan) that they can do and say certain things with impunity. I'm sorry, but I don't care how long you've been best friends with Michelle Obama, if you are white, it is NOT cool for you to drop the N-Bomb. I don't care if your Black best friend introduces you as his/her n____, it is NOT ok for you to do the same when introducing him to your people. (And here's where my train of thought temporarily derails...white folks, ummmm, NO DREDLOCS, ever!! It ain't a good look for us...c'mon, now... y'all know I'm right).

Bringing us to the far end of the continuum.... the Reconciled To It clan. These are the people who honestly face the fact that racism, prejudice and bigotry are born of the fear of the unknown. They understand that despite their very best attempts and most sincere intentions, they will never be able to completely eradicate every last particle of racism from their beings. That does not mean that they won't attempt to continue to become better people. In fact, that's what marks them as different. They recognize the room for growth. They welcome encounters which broaden their horizons. And they feel like shit every time they catch the random racist bullshit that their human nature sometimes trips over.

I've tortured Alise with this theory before. And I'm pretty sure I didn't cover every "type" in this post, but dang, it's already long as hell! So I better quit before I get further behind. I hope reading this tome hasn't been too painful for anyone. I'm sure I'm bound to get a lot of disagreement on it, but hey, like I said... it's just a theory!

Vainglorious Side-Eyes from "DirtyPrettyThangs"

2010-10-06T17:48:00.000-05:00

Oh, how I love it when a day starts off well!! It is the bee's knees, Pooh's honey, and the air I breathe when I start my day off with a new post from one of my favorite bloggers. And if there just happen to be amazing side-eyes involved, well, all the better!

This morning, my dread of an upcoming stats exam was mitigated and my mood elevated by the coolest lady in DC, ThePBG. Her blog DirtyPrettyThangs is one of my staples. It has everything! And today, it gave everything, including a new Honoree for the Side-Eye Hall of Glory. (Yes, I realize I'm remarkably inconsistent with the title, but that's just because... well, it just is.)

So, without any further discourse... allow me to present the
Honoree for Side-Eye Versatility and Vaingloriousness!
(I don't know her name, I'm sorry.)

Each of these pictures tells a story! I love how expressive this woman's face is. But she prob'ly doesn't wanna pursue a career in high stakes professional poker... just sayin'.

Go to DirtyPrettyThangs to see her expressions in context. I promise, once you see the video these stills were captured from, you will roll!

The last one is my personal favorite...

Welcome to the Side-Eye Gallery of Greatness, Ma'am!

Mama Nay, I need a word with you...

2010-10-02T10:27:00.002-05:00

Warning: Men, you might not want to continue reading. We are about to venture into the land of ladyparts and TMI. On the other hand, if you have women in your life of a certain age, you might wanna read on and get some insight.

Hey, Mother Nature.... can I call you, Mama Nay? 'Kay, thanks... it's Amy, remember me? No? Well, you oughta, you been clownin' me pretty hard for the last six or eight months, now. Not ringin' any bells yet? Well, lemme elaborate for you.

First of all, for 31 years of my life, you have made sure that I have a week and a half of discomfort and inconvenience. I know, you do that to the vast majority of women, it's part of the package. It's this new bullsnit you're on these days that really has me kinda aggy... the whole hot flash, moodswing, complexion chaos, inability to focus, emotional bullsnit.

This snit, this snit right here? No predictability, no rhyme or reason... at any random, inconvenient time at all any one, or combination, of these new pleasantries will smack me out of the clear blue. The hot flashes, while annoying, are at least easily recognizable. While the mood swings, irrationality, and ADD stuff isn't apparent until I look back and realize I just made an ass out of myself for no good reason. And it's not like little over reactions... it can't be that easy. It's major blow ups over nothing, NOTHING, I tell ya!!

Major over reactions like this:

Ok, so I have yet to destroy anyone's vehicle, but it could so totally happen!!

And here's the kicker... the other stuff, the usual monthly torment?? Still happening. And worse than ever!! Crampier, moodier, bloatier, heavier than ever before!!

What did I ever do to you? I ain't mess with your man, show up to a party wearing the same dress as you, or question your character, never, not ever!! I ain't did snit to you for you to be such a ragin' beyotch!

So what, I'm sayin' to you Nay, is you on some real shady business right here... and I'm 'bout tired of it. You need to decide which form of torment you like the best and stick to it.

Mama Nay, bish, you play too much.

Now there's Side-Eye greatness in my Gmail....

2010-09-22T21:59:00.001-05:00

Relentless pursuit of the perfect side eye... this is my never ending mission. It is more than a hobby, more than a passion. It is my calling. Fortunately for me, I have some amazing friends who not only understand my obsession, they enable it!! For that I love them forever...

So, in my last post, you got to meet Side-Eye Dog

Side-Eye Dog's magnificence was added to my lifespace by ThePBG. Peebz also dropped this gem of Side-eyery in my @Replies:

I don't know what the baby snowbunny did but, ummm... she might not wanna keep sitting there all vulnerable and oblivious n shxt. I'm just sayin'.... That consideration aside, will you just LOOK at the child! Side-eyes of this magnitude aren't made, they're born. This level of Side-eyery is a gift! I just hope that she is being mentored and led well in the Way of the Side-Eye!

Then today.... oh, my! In my Gmail, I find this treasure:

LordGodJesusInHeaven....iHollered!

Yes!!! It's Crownie McLocsface!! And with this Side-eye, I can "hear" the puzzled exclamation.... "Da hell???" Yeah, it's that awesome that I'm having auditory hallucinations, y'all. Hallucinations!!! How incredible is that?

Got a great Side-eye? Leave me a link in the comments!

Side-Eye Glory in my @Replies....

2010-09-20T21:12:00.001-05:00

Hey, y'all! The greatest thing just happened to me!!! And it's all thanks to ThePBG!! (I lubs ThePeebz!!!)
Yesterday, the Twitter had eaten all of my @Replies. So while Mr. Man and I watched Monday Night Football (ok, he was watching, I was pestering Blackie Chan...), I decided to check and see if the Tuhh-wittuhhh had decided to give them back. And it had... a few.

But the really great part was the new @Replies that had appeared

Well... of course I had to investigate... And what I discovered was more precious than unicorn tears, more glittery than pixie-dust, more uplifting than phoenix wings.

What I discovered, was Supreme Side-Eye Dog.

Behold, and weep!

Supreme Side-Eye Dog has earned the distinction of being the only canine in the Side-Eye Hall of Fame, and only the second non-human member.

WTF Cat Proudly welcomes you,
Side-Eye Dog!

Side-Eye Lifetime Achievement Award (Posthumously): Rue McClanahan

2010-09-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Although Ms. McClanahan is no longer with us, she is nonetheless deserving of recognition of her tireless devotion to and relentless pursuit of side-eye excellence. Her expression of disdain and exasperation is without equal. It is my pleasure to bestow the 2010 Side-Eye Lifetime Achievement Award to Rue McClanahan.

Behold and tremble!

Now I need to go watch a Golden Girls marathon...

(Thanks grey[dot]matters for the .gif)

Reason #7483 that I love my son: constant source of amusement

2010-09-05T13:55:00.000-05:00

Eli... cold, tired, and ready to go home. It dropped to 54 degrees this nite!

So a part of the culture of the Cornfield is the Du Quoin State Fair. It's part awesome, part redneck. But since we live in the Du, attendance is mandatory. I don't really have the time today to delve into the varied glories and atrocities of The Fair, but I wanted to share a convo I had with the boy.

E: Mama, what's wrong with that man?
Me: He's a carney, E.
E: Was he born that way, or did he catch it from someone?
Me: (sniggling) No, baby, it's not a disease... it's a job. It means he travels around everywhere and sets up and runs the fair rides.
E: Do you hafta look like that to run fair rides?
Me: (completely cracking up) No, I guess not, but since they travel all over, I guess it's not easy to keep looking nice...
E: Hmmmph... (mutters) laundrymat and shower... that's all I'm sayin'....
Me: (flatline)

The End.

So much to post, so little time....

2010-08-29T12:36:00.004-05:00

First of all, hi! How ya been? Busy but good, here. Thanks for askin'!

A ton of blogworthy stuff has happened, and I can't remember all of it, but here goes what I do remember...

So you remember not too long ago, around the end of May, the post about E's new cat? Well, somehow, in his mind, the boy had it rationalized that since Graham Cracker (Cracka A. Craka, in a *Chris Rock voice,* in my mind) is a full grown cat, then obviously he still had a kitten coming to him. So I come home one day and he's brought this little ball of black fur with claws and teeth into the house. He shoves the kitten into my face and announces:

"I named him Blackie Chan!"

Oh really? Did you, now?

"What? You named him what?"
"Blackie Chan. Can I keep him?"
"Ummm... okay... and you came up with this all on your own?"
"Yeah. He's black and white*, just like me. And he has kung fu man moves, like Jackie Chan."

Okay...*look of profound resignation* Coz you see what I did to myself there? The stammering I did, trynna come to grips with my 7 year old naming a black kitten "Blackie Chan," I used the word "okay".... which naturally was interpreted as consent.

"Why Mom? Did I say something bad?"
"No... just nevermind. Wait... did you say the kitten has 'kung fu man moves?'"
"Yeah!! It's awesome, watch!"

Then the child proceeds to play with said kitten until he did indeed display some wicked cool kung fu action poses!

Needless to say, we now have two cats. Cracka isn't all that fond of Blackie Chan yet, but that's the way it goes with cats. They're learning to coexist. It's a process. And please do not confuse this with social commentary. I promise there is no correlation between house cats and the state of "post-racial" society in general! I'm ok with that if you are.

What I can't come to terms with is the fact that my son chose two so appropriate yet inappropriate names for these cats....

*mama cat was black, daddy cat was white, so no, E, not JUST like you, the same but opposite.

Vandalyzm: New Music Drops Today!

2010-08-17T08:28:00.001-05:00

Vandalyzm: Megatron Majorz/Redux

You should really just go to iTunes and cop this.... but coz Van is that kinda dude, you can go to Bandcamp and listen to his new/redo drop before you drop your money.

Now lemme say this, I have a lot of Van's music. And I irritate his ol' bootleg Usher looking ass on the Twittuh on occasion. He's a good hearted jackass. A Good Guy. And all of his music that I have, he has put out there for de free. So, he's given his fans and supporters a lot of his music and himself, it's time to show him some luv and buy that Megatron Majorz/Redux.

Link to Dr. Goddess...Revelations: Our Fascination with the Antoine Dodson Situation

2010-08-14T11:45:00.001-05:00

Revelations: Our Fascination with the Antoine Dodson Situation

Click this link. Read this blog. While we laugh and find amusement at Antoine's delivery, the sad truth is someone broke into the Dodson's home. And the other sad truth is that apparently, precious little is being done about it.

All it takes for evil men to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Don't remember who said it first, but they said it best.

Sunday shooting leaves one dead � Local � Mt. Vernon Register-News

2010-08-10T09:25:00.001-05:00

Sunday shooting leaves one dead � Local � Mt. Vernon Register-News

(click the link for the full story)

And this? This shxt right here is why I left the Vern when I had my son. Boolshiggity like this should not be commonplace in a town of 14,000. Middle schoolers should not be getting arrested for slingin' and getting pregnant and whatnot.

It JUST SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS!! It shouldn't be accepted. It shouldn't be tolerated.

But it is.

We need to expect better and do better. Coz we dang sure all know better!!

Vote T.E.A.M. HIV/AIDS: Provide teens with peer to peer education and awareness

2010-08-05T18:09:00.004-05:00

Vote T.E.A.M. HIV/AIDS: Provide teens with peer to peer education and awareness

It has been a little minute since I have embarked upon one of my famous HIV awareness rants...

...but that doesn't mean I don't still care!! Please follow the link and vote for these kids to get the grant. Young people are being infected and diagnosed at an alarming rate. Education, awareness, and prevention are our best weapons against this virus. Help these two fifteen year old girls achieve their goals of educating and raising awareness among their peers!

And don't forget to check out The Red Pump Project
and throw them some support!

Pulling a grounded ship and other exercises in futility....

2010-07-31T22:02:00.003-05:00

Ever watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? I watch them as often as I can... I love 'em. I'm a Johnny Depp stan. Even if he does look like he might have questionable bathing habits with a resultant unique personal odor, I will still watch any movie he's in. And if you disagree with me, you're wrong, that's all. I won't hold it against you though.

You know the scene in World's End where Jack is trynna pull the ship across the salt flat desert? He's pulling as hard as he can, in his delusional state, thinking he can make it move.

Yeah....

<<------------
This scene!

This scene is a nearly perfect analogy for certain things in my life.
It is the ultimate exercise in futility.

Ok, nevermind the lil' stone/crab critters that eventually come to his aid... I know the ship eventually moved, but it wasn't coz Jack's crazy ass was pulling it! In fact, by the time the crabs came to bail him out, he had collapsed from the futility of trying to pull a landlocked ship along salt flats! It wore his loony self right out. Alright, alright..... so it was the whole shock of the rock being a crab thing that made him pass out... whatever. Jeez, you're argumentative tonite!

Anyhoo... as I sit here, stressing about stuff that I think is unfair at the workjob, or injustices in the world, or the fact that try as I might to change certain things at home, they just seem to stay the same.... I feel like Captain Jack pulling the hell outta that rope. Putting all this effort into a task that is just not do-able. Getting, well... nowhere fast, and exhausting myself in the process.

So, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna let that rope go, and hang out 'til the crabs arrive. Or some such a thing...
You know what I mean.

This one is another of my favorite Captain Jack moments... "Well tha's ev'n more than less than unhelpful..."

I really do have a point, here...

2010-07-17T12:55:00.001-05:00

Sometime this past spring, it occurred to me it would be a good idea to take summer semester classes. We won't get into the folly of that thought, or the fact that I clearly need more people, as we have covered that ground already....

Skip to the point where I say that my computer science class has been the bane of my existence. Yes. The bane of my existence... for reals. It isn't hard, just busyworks me to death!!

Here's a brief synopsis of my current frustration... we were assigned to write two papers. First one was to address how computers figure into my chosen major--nursing (and if you didn't know that, well, you are either new or slow...). First paper done, no prob. On to second paper... topic: choose an IT career that you would be interested in, write all about the requirements, duties, salary, job forecast, and why you chose that career... la di da...

I chose the career website design/development, or as our TEXT refers to it... Webmaster! I turn in my topic paragraph and get told that this is not an IT career, but a career that uses computers.

You had to know this was coming....

WTF???

I said it... I made the face... I felt the sheer confusion and dismay...

Then I decided to go all the way in!!

First, however, I gathered all of my Facts & Examples (shout to O Hell Nawl)....

Exhibit A
Taken directly from the index of the text book... Computing Essentials Complete 2010, O'Leary and O'Leary

There it is, plainly, webmaster, page 49.

Exhibit B
Heading and beginning paragraph from said page 49....

And finally.... Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury.....

Exhibit C

Smiling Webmaster Guy

who loves his gatdambed

IT job!!!

(On page 49)

I sent a sternly, but respectfully, worded email to the instructor and presented my case. Two days ago, mind you. I have yet to get a response, but I noticed on my grades that my points have been changed from 0/5 to 5/5 on my topic choice. And while I am gratified that apparently my topic choice is going to be allowed, methinks that the lack of response to the email smacks of .......

Yeah... let me censor myself. The semester ain't over yet.... but you know where I was going with that, don't you? That's why I luv y'all.... you really get me!

The Hokey Pokey 2010. � Splackavellie Central

2010-07-15T20:48:00.002-05:00

The Hokey Pokey 2010. � Splackavellie Central

I swear, sometimes Ihaaaaatechuuuuu, Brokey McPoverty!!

For real, though, if you haven't checked out Splackavellie Central, you just gotta... Homegirl is seriously disturbed, but there's some funny shiznit to be amazed by over round her eCrib.

Getchu Some...

I should be doing homework....

2010-07-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

...and isn't that a pitiful thing to be saying on a Saturday night??? But it's true. And that makes me feel profoundly irritable!! Mr. Man is off to do his DJ thing in Sikeston, the kiddo is at a swimming party, and all I can think is, "Awesome! The house is quiet. Maybe I can get that last spreadsheet done for my computer science class, and then I can start on the next module..." My next thought is, "Wow... what a nerd I am!"

Which is probably why Rebellious Me has taken control and is writing a blog post instead of crunching make believe data for a pretend travel agency into an Excel spreadsheet. I could be wrong, but nah... that's why.

And I haven't even anything worthwhile to blog about. My brain, which I normally engage for foolery and ratchetness, is otherwise engaged with scholastic minutiae. My wit has been subjugated to theory and evidence based practice. I am thinking in terms of APA format. I caught myself starting to add citations and references to my mother lovin' gchat, for crying out loud! It's gonna be a long two years. And the kicker, if I could somehow stop sleeping and eating altogether, and find a way to manage a full time class load, I'd be done this time next year. Done, dammit!! But I'm too old to get down like that anymore.

Speaking of gchat, if it weren't for Alise randomly popping up on my screen as I worked, I would probably have come unwound already. Thank you, Sis, for saving my insanity. (Yes, insanity.)

Well, Practical Me is taking over again. She says that since we like sleep and plan to do that at some point tonight, we must get back to the homework. By the way, the picture has nothing to do with the post, it just amused the mess out of me.

Folk art wolf puppet. Possibly magic. - eBay

2010-06-25T08:19:00.001-05:00

Folk art wolf puppet. Possibly magic. - eBay (item 200487505908 end time Jul-01-10 12:24:02 PDT)

Seriously?? I mean, really??

All I wanna know is, who gave you access to the innanets?

It better be magic, coz it sure ain't cute! LOL

Naw... this is a listing by one of my all time favorite bloggers and random minds, The Bloggess. She's singlehandedly responsible for 3 gallons of coffee being explosively spit in various areas of my home, and the ruining of at least 3 major computer components from said spitting.

May the random be with you, dude!

random facelift

2010-06-24T20:12:00.000-05:00

This post serves no purpose except to state the obvious. I changed the looks of things around here. I'm not ready to follow my eTwin Alise over to WordPress. I'll stick to my comfort zone over here at Blogger... It's nice and simple. Like me. Yeah, I said it.

Anyhoo... I really wanted the background to be a cornfield, but the best I could find on the design page was a wheat field. Close enough. It's rural.

Leave me a comment, let me know what you think. I will probably be adding some pages and features later, but it will definitely hafta wait until summer semester is over.

Yes... that's my kid... sigh

2010-06-24T00:11:00.002-05:00

It's been a minute. For the record, school is OFFICIALLY kicking my ass. I need better people, coz y'all shoulda talked me outta this summer semester nonsense.

Anyway....

I have blog material that has been marinating away in my wee brainy brain for better than a week now b/c I just didn't have a spare moment to post! But tonight, I have broken away from my homework shackles and escaped into the blogosphere!!

So, it all starts with me at school last Tuesday. I'm on my way home and Mr. Man texts me that there are power lines down on the side street by our house. Power's out. Storm is over. Well, where I was in class, there were no clouds, much less a storm going on, so I hit him back for details.

Cut to me pulling up in front of the house. Sure enough, the neighbor's tree is down in the middle of Peach Street, and it took the power line and two poles with it. I also see my son, whom I love (honestly, I really do!) running around the yard looking like Mowgli... barefoot, no shirt, filthy, and dragging branches around the yard. Before you ask, he was "building" a hut... no, I don't know why. Sheesh.

Like any good mother, I tell him to get his little greenbean butt in the house and quit bringing everybody's branches in my dang yard!! I also told him to get a shirt and some shoes on. Well, I get inside, and I think the boy is in his room playing with his matchbox cars when Mr. Man says, "Woooooow.... they sent a news crew." Sure enough, a couple of the local stations find it necessary to cover the downed tree. In all fairness, the storm took out power to a couple thousand homes and businesses, which considering we are in the middle of a cornfield is pretty wide spread, so I guess, since it is a cornfield, that counts as news.

Well the next thing I know, I see my dad (he lives in the basement) walking Roger the Rat Terrier past the dining room window. First, that man never walks that dog. Second, that man never walks that dog!!! Did I mention the news crew? Long story short: dad gets interviewed, my soul shrivels a little.

I see the news van pull off, and I think the worst is over.

No. I am so totally wrong.

"Hey, there's another van... channel 3 this time," says Mr. Man.

"For God's sake, don't tell dad!" says me.

A very short while later, it hits me that the boy has been awfully quiet for an awfully long time.

"Ummmm, baby?" says Mr. Man, "You better look out the window...."

And what do I see when I look out the window?

Lemme tell you.... I see Mowgli riding his bicycle on the street where the downed power lines and fallen tree are stretched out!!!

"Oh for the love of God!!!!! Marc, go get him!!!!"

The child was riding down our driveway (about 25 feet away from any real danger), down the street smack in the middle of the news crew's shot, up the sidewalk and across the yard back to the driveway, over, and over, and over again in a blatant attempt to get on the news! So Mr. Man goes and retrieves my media hungry child and brings his bad lil' butt back in the house.

It's not five minutes later.... "Daaaaannnnngggg..... baby, look out the window..."

Now before you think he was on his bike again, let me tell you, he does listen for the most part, and when the big man told him to put his bike up, he did. However.... my child was in the yard, not 10 feet away from where the news crew was interviewing a dude from the county safety commission, serenading them ON HIS GUITAR with "Ol' Joe Clark."

"Dammit!! Get him back in here!"

We both go out after him this time.... bring him in, and tell him to stay put.

Another five minutes, and I hear the dog barking. I look out, and the boy is walking the dog this time.

"I got it baby..." Mr. Man retrieves child for the third time.

I collapse in chair.

The next day at work, my fellow nurses and I are talking about the storm and stuff. The conversation turns to the news coverage. One of the girls says, "I saw that on channel 3... and I said to my husband, 'Who let's their kid ride their bike around downed power lines?'"

And my soul dies a little more....

If you wanna see the kiddo's TV debut, click the link. Forward to about the middle.... I'm so proud. o_O

Yeah.

A little homework, a little G-Chat....

2010-06-06T01:44:00.002-05:00

I'm starting to think I ought to rename this blog "Chronicles of an Old Bish in School Again," but naw... I'd hafta change too many links. Anyway, as I worked on my web based class assignments tonight, the g-chat box popped up, and there was my eTwin!! Yay! She was excited that the Bull City Slam Team won SouthernFried Poetry Slam... AGAIN!! Woot!! Her hunnybunny Elliot Axiom is a member of the team... Go EL!!!!

Anyhooooo.... Amy + Alise + g-chat = silly. Enjoy.

This first screen shot is at the end of the segue from one topic to another.... her typing something I was just about to type, me telling her to get out of my head, her refusal to vacate the premises....

Now here I go telling her what kind of conundrums I am charged to address:

And the punchline...

Well, that's what we use it for!!

Have a ratchetness filled week, y'all!! I'll be checking in now and again...

I am not simple minded....

2010-06-04T02:28:00.000-05:00

Hey!! I heard that! Shut it, you! I'm not simple minded. However, the person who wrote the text for one of my classes apparently did not know that.

It's a computer science class. Actually, there's not all that much "science" to it. It's more like a "How to use Office" class. And, ummmm..... I can read. Pretty much, if you can read, you can use Office. I'm just sayin'... it ain't rocket surgery or brain science.

So, it looks like a fun filled 8 weeks of diddling about with Word, Excel, Access, and PowerPoint... yeah.
And the book is a three inch thick, spiral-bound tome. Fun to lug around.

And I'm coming to the realization that between the kiddo, the workjob, and school, I am looking at some seriously compromised blogging/Twitter/Facebook time. Hmmm....

But I promise if any truly noteworthy foolishment or rachetness or hosh*t crosses my path, I will make the time to blog it out!!

In the meanwhile, enjoy this fuggary:

Shout out to O Hell Nawl! coz that's where I first saw this mess... laughed til I almost peed!

Imagine my chagrin....

2010-05-31T22:25:00.000-05:00

I want to blog. Honest to socks, I do. I promise. But summer semester starts tomorrow. I logged into Blackboard today to check the syllabus for one of my classes. And what do you think I found? Hmmm... It's okay. I'll wait.

I found that my online class already has the first test posted. So instead of writing a real post, I will be reading.

Don't miss me too much.

The Biggest Kitten I've Ever Seen

2010-05-25T02:16:00.008-05:00

So first we must establish that I am not above bribing my child. Not at all. I don't have a problem in the world with dangling a carrot in front of his face. Some people try to call this type of parental Jedi Mind Trick by more acceptable euphamisms... positive reinforcement, goal setting, that kinda crap. I say bullsnit! Call it what it is, I say! It's a bribe. Plain and simple. And I'm totally ok with that. It works.

Now that we have established that I openly and unashamedly bribe the boy, we can get on with the rest of the story.

The boy got hit most severely with spring fever. So the last couple of months of school turned into a challenge to his ability to sit still. This resulted in his "turning cards" on a couple of occasions. Mama doesn't like that. At first, I tried the "hit him where he lives" method. Taking away his Wii, his bike, not letting him go play with his buddies. That was moderately successful, but in the long run, it made me feel like I was always coming in after the fact and being the bad guy. I didn't like that. So, I reverted to my favorite form of behavior modification... I told him if he could get through the last month of school without turning any cards, he could get a kitten. (This is where I refer you to a previous post for further illumination.)

Well, I reminded him what he was working toward every day. I also told him clearly what his responsibilities would be if he managed to get a kitten. And he did it. He pulled it off. So I had to hold up my end of the deal and produce the goods... well, the kitten.

Now, I might hate that damb ASPCA commercial, but I do agree that there isn't any better place to find a new pet than a shelter or rescue center. So off we went. As expected, there was plenty of oooh-ing and aaahh-ing over the baby kitties. Petting and holding and playing and general cuteness, allathat there... But there were also adult cats that he made over. So after an hour or more, I finally asked which one he wanted to take home. I really expected him to choose this little black and white ball of fluff with a really sweet face.
But much to my surprise, he pointed down at his feet. "I want this one, Mama."

An adult cat. A fat, snuggly adult cat. "She likes me. She wants to be my cat." How do you argue with that?
The man who runs the shelter asked, "What are ya gonna call her?" Without hesitation, E answered, "GramCrackers."

Yeah, I don't get it either, but it amuses me. I like to call her Cracka A. Craka in a *Chris Rock voice*. I've been quit by at least 3 of my friends over that one. Mostly we just call her Crackers. Considering this is the same child who named our rat terrier Roger, I'm actually kinda ok with the name.

Anyway... Meet the big "kitten."

Now, I have the rest of the summer to figure out what I'm gonna use to bribe him next school year....

Random Nerd Alert

2010-05-14T10:38:00.001-05:00

It's like an Amber Alert, only not. No one's missing. It's really only like an Amber Alert in that it's an alert. And since it's random and alerts you to nerdness, it really has no practical value whatsoever. So take it for what it's worth.

Anyway, here's the random nerdness: I am a geek who loves school. I just like knowing stuff. School is to Amy as crack is to Pookie. It bees callin' me... I've been off my school (crack) since 2005, with the exception of scattered classes now and again.

But June 1, I'm off the wagon!

I figured it was time to quit piece mealing and get on with things. So, I'm diving back into higher education to finish up the coveted BSN. McKendree University, here I come. Well... to a satellite campus near you, actually.

Why now? It's time, and I really hope it makes me a better RN.

Didn't know that's what that stood for, didja? You thought it meant Registered Nurse. Well, some folks say that's what it means, but I prefer Rescue Ninja, personally... I fix the sick people in stealth mode!

Summer semester looks pretty manageable. Fall has me a little worried. Statistics and Nursing Research with a notorious teacher... who also happens to work at the same hospital as I do. So, there's some anxiety there.

And as if I needed anything more to prove my geek/nerdness, am I wrong for being excited about this:

McKendree University totally has a BOWLING TEAM!!! Can it get any more awesome than that??

NaturallyAlise... is 11 years, 1 day younger than me...

2010-05-07T02:39:00.000-05:00

...which means, of course, today is the 10th Anniversary of her 21st BornDay!!

So everyone go check out her blog and drop a few lines of poetry in the comments!! In the meantime, check out her latest poem. You can find Alise here and here!

My Second 21st BornDay!

2010-05-06T12:30:00.003-05:00

First the bad news... I gotta work on my BornDay. *boo*

Now the good news... Absolutely everyone I love and care about remembered it was my BornDay!

Of course, many of them had Facebook reminding them.... but that's ok, too. Because I am the absolute worst at remembering birthdays and anniversaries and whatnot. So I totally don't consider that cheating!! In fact, I think that Facebook's little birthday reminders are probably saving relationships the world over! Kudos, Facey!

I'm at an age now where lots of folks, especially us chicks... don't front, you know I'm not lying... well, lots of us start hedging around the whole birthday/aging/real age topic. Not me! It seems like a cliche, but most cliches are cliches b/c they are true at some level... anyway, life just keeps getting better!!

Don't get me wrong, I still have the typical human type ups and downs, just like everybody else. I just find that for the most part, I like who I am a lot more now than when I was younger. I am more comfortable in my own skin.

The older I get, the more I realize there isn't infinite time to get caught up in peripheral bullsnit.
The older I get, the less likely I am to keep my opinions to myself.
The older I get, the more likely I am to stand up for what I believe.
The older I get, the better I am able to express myself honestly without hurting others in the process.
The older I get, the better I distinguish between what matters and what doesn't.
The older I get, the better I am at recognizing what is genuine. (No Ginuwine... this is a babyhurr free zone!)

Other awesome things that have happened since last BornDay:

I have developed and fostered several new friendships, many as a direct result of the Twittuh and Faceybook and Blogging! #Shoutout to the ePosse!!

I have learned how to let go and act a fool!! Interestingly enough, your sense of humor is a muscle, apparently, and it will atrophy with disuse... but trynna keep up with the wit of some of my eFamily has got that mufugga ripped!! Damb a six-pack, my sense of humor is sportin' a case, I tell ya!!

My creativity and love of writing and words has been tapped again!! I used to dream of being a "real" writer. I guess what I never knew is that I already was a real writer... I just hafta work at it. That doesn't mean I will ever actually be published, but hell... who needs that when the world has Blogger and Wordpress?? I'm good! I don't ever intend to support myself by writing, it just makes me happy!

So these are my Thank you for making my world a better place shoutouts:

Eli, my son makes the world wonderful!
Marc, my boo... drives me crazy in ways good, bad and ugly!! (Luv ya boo!)
My Dad and Fathead Brother... they support me, aggravate me, entertain me... all the things a Dad and Fathead Brother should do.
The ePosse, ThePBG, NaturallyAlise, and Awesomely Luvvie... these ladies have forced me to step up my Ig, sharpen my wit, stay relevant, and blog, blog, blog!!
NaturallyAlise, individually, because she is not only my Cosmic Twin, she has been subjected to my poetry in all its varied states: good, bad, raw, crappy, unfinished, inspired, in development... you get the idea. And she has never not even one time said, "HEFFA PUHLEEZ!!" And for that I thank her!
My Ranch/KFC homies! You guys make the work world an awesome place to be! Now, let's get out there and fix us some sick people!!
Everyone who reads my blogs. I am constantly and sincerely amazed and gratified that anyone anywhere gives a good gahtdamb bout what I have to say... much less that they enjoy it! I love y'all, for realz for realz!!

Ok, that's about all I've got for today...

Make sure y'all remember to laugh and be ignant!! Thanks for making my corner of the innanets a great place to live!

More from the Side Eye Hall of Honor...

2010-05-05T00:04:00.002-05:00

Last time we looked in on these hallowed halls, it was pretty much just a random happening. This is a deliberate reprise. Now, I will forewarn you, there is one Side Eye which is glaringly missing. It ain't for lack of tryin'... but since she's had a lot on her plate, I'ma give her a pass (we have ferocity from eLuvvie, instead). But despair not, I have Side Eye a-plenty!

First... we have the Lethal Look reppin' the District of Columbia. This look has been honed by years of laser sharp wit and a bullsnit detector bar none. It screams, "Go head, then... if you're craaaazy..."

Behold The PBG! (Twitter @thepbg)

Our next two Side Eye Samurai hail from North Carolina. Ignance is their stock in trade. Please don't make the mistake of thinking you can prevail in a battle of wits with either.... they grow 'em merciless down there, apparently!

This gentleman makes one beg the question... is Rude necessarily Wrong?

Crownie McLocsface... Master of the Side Eye/Stank Face combo! Soul crushing, ain't it? (Twitter @crownieisRUDE)

Also hailing from NC, my sister from another mister... NaturallyAlise!! Now this isn't a traditional, lookin' at you like you short style Side Eye.
This is her "I'm slaying hoes effortlessly" Side Eye.

NaturallyAlise trynna look innocent, but she knows she's bout to be on some ho-sh*t! (Twitter @NaturallyAlise)

This is the place where we should be dazzled by the brilliance of the Side Eye of Awesomely Luvvie.... instead, we have an image of one of her AwesomelyLuvvie Tees! Getchu one... here's the link to her SpreadShirt online store: LINK!

(Twitter @luvvieig)

And here's Luvvie's eSelf giving the Side Eye of Devastation!

Now here's a Side Eye near and dear to my heart... It's because I can take credit for the nurturing of this Side Eye, it's development and growth... my own dear son. No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. *Single Tear*

Awesome!

And it seems that he is making an attempt at the Side Eye/Stank Face Combination as well... must be a guy thing!

No Twitter for this lil' man... at least not yet!

And finally... one of my own. I only aspire to have true Side Eye greatness one day.... in the meantime,
this is me.

(Twitter @amymay117)

Which is still closely related to this:

Yeah.... I love that Cat!!

Come back tomorrow for the BornDay Breakdown.... 42 and still acting like 35. What? I was a late bloomer!!

By the way, click the pics of Peebz, Alise, and Luvvie for links to their fantastic blogs!

You can also check Peebz and Luvvie out on The Fresh Xpress!

Blog Swap Monday: Meet my Cosmic Twin, NaturallyAlise

2010-05-03T00:01:00.013-05:00

Blogger's Note: Alise and I are swapping posts today. You can see what I had to say on her blog Black Woman Lost and Found! BTW, I am a fat kid. Fat kids love cake. I love Alise MORE than I love cake... do the math!

The internet can sometimes be a mysterious, murky, macabre, melancholy, muh-fugging mess of a place. However, not with my internet crew. We are a lovely bunch of coconuts, emphasis on nuts. Let me tell you about one of my lovely unlikely kindred spirits who I am swapping blogs with today... AMY! She is the wasabi to my sushi, the ham to my burger, the spicy to my Thai (dang, Precious I'm Hongree!), the ho to my sh*t, the Ru to my Paul, and the Pooh to my Phonte. The funny thing is for all the ways we seem like we would be opposite, we are eerily and spookily alike.

I jokingly call Amy my melanin-deficient twin sister. Check out our kindred-spiritness:

My birthday is May 7th, hers May 6th... we are 11 years and 1 day apart.... spooky right?

We both have an unhealthy obsession with Thai food.

We both have an unhealthy obsession with Erykah Badu. She is the patron saint of awesomeness. Recognize.

We love the exact same hip-hop, even down to the old school stuff.

Both our names start with A... we like vowels.

We both have "favorite words" that we like just because how they sound... for example some of my favorite words are: voucher, macabre unconscionable, ennui..... yeah, I'm a nerd, don't judge me.

We both love us some husky black men... we like something to hold on to!!!

Who'd of thunk white girl Amy from the cornfield in Illinois would hook up with black girl Afro Aficianado Alise in North Carolina and form an awesome and treasured friendship/kinship. I love my Amy; her advice and ear have gotten me through a rough patch and I am so glad to call her sister. *Cue the violins*

*Exits stage left, dramatically faints*
(Last week Amy called me "Dramatic McThespian", lol)
--

~Naturally Alise~

Visit me at:http://blackwomanlost.blogspot.com
http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com

And what you didn't know is that I'm just getting started!!!

2010-04-30T21:08:00.002-05:00

So here we are at post number 101. You might think that I would be running out of things to say. You would be wrong. I'm pretty sure I will never run out of random! I'm having too much fun here in my lil' corner of the innanets to stop now!

This week is a special week for my eTwin, the poetic, awesome NaturallyAlise and I. It's our BornDay Week! (Yes, we get a whole week to celebrate coz we are awesome and whatnot.) So, in honor of the best week in the entire year, Alise and I are swapping posts on each other's blogs. I am sure there will be more foolishment in the works, we just haven't finished plotting out how we're gonna ~~scam cool presents out of unsuspecting strangers~~ make this BornDay Week memorable. One thing I know for sure is that we are gonna revisit the Side-Eye Hall of Honor. I have a few more Side-Eyes of Greatness to share with you... I've only held off on that this long because some of my honorees have yet to get me a picture (I'm lookin' at YOU, Luvvie!!) That will probably be on Wednesday. Then Thursday and Friday will be the BornDay tributes.... or somesuch nonsense.

So be sure to check back in this week... coz you love me.
And I'm cute.

Using my 100th Post for the Power of Good!!!

2010-04-29T19:09:00.001-05:00

Today is a Double Celebration!!

This is random and pressing details' 100th Post!

*cues confetti and party horns*

It has been a strange journey this last year and change! Ups and downs, lessons learned, pet peeves, foolishment, foolery, side-eyes, and ignance... remembrances, tributes, friendships, inspirations, pleas, public service announcements and advocacy... we've shared a little bit of it all together. I am honored every time I log on and find that someone (and sometimes several someones) has had enough interest in what I have to say to not only take time to read, but to comment!! Your comments are the special sauce on the Big Mac of my life! *No Ronald!*

To all of you, I say a most sincere and heart felt "Thank you!! Now get outta my bathtub!!"

But the Biggest, Awesomest and Most Supercalifragilisticexpialidociousest news of all is....

My girl Dwina got to bring lil' Man home from the hospital today!!!

Thanks to all of the prayer, positive energy, love and support of any and all of you who kept them in your thoughts and prayers!! Lil' Man is a bona fide miracle baby! He's beautiful, and he is home in plenty of time for Mother's Day!!

Which is the coolest thing in the world, and made me break out in a Bro. Franklin dance!!

So in honor of this most excellent day and it's dual causes for celebration... but mostly b/c of Lil' Man, enjoy the following!!

Damb You, Animal Planet!!

2010-04-19T12:17:00.001-05:00

So it seems like a safe bet to let the boy watch Animal Planet... no unnecessary violence, booty tootin', or foolishment. Okay... so occasionally you're gonna catch a lion eating a gazelle or some such thing, but generally it's a damn sight better than what he could be watching.

Except....

Yeah... so thank you, Sarah McLachlan!! Thank you, very stinkin' much!! And I mean that most sincerely, as I repeatedly tell the boy, "No, you cannot have another pet." As he begs with his lil' pitiful face, telling me how many dogs and cats die annually due to abuse and neglect. As he reminds me that WE can make a difference in the life of an abused or neglected animal. I swear if he grows up one day and joins PETA, there will be consequences and repercussions! I'll find you, Sarah, I WILL FIND YOU!!

Sarah McLachlan... you have earned one of these:

STD's Are NOT Sexy... No Matter How "Spectacular" the Sex Was

2010-04-07T19:50:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I worked a day shift today, and when I got home, I kissed my kid, changed clothes and checked my Facebook.

One of my FB friends, Van had posted a YouTube link. He had posted a video commentary/PSA in response to Kiely Williams' music video on YouTube for her song "Spectacular." Now, I'm not gonna recap what he said. I'm not gonna try to say it better or more politely. Because I happen to think he did more than an excellent job of breakin' it down. I'm only gonna direct your attention to the sidebar and ask you to click on the Red Pump.

Attitudes like the one Miss Kiely expresses in her song... umm... yeah. That's kinda what makes the Red Pump Project necessary in the first place. C'mon, ladies... let's do better. Know your status. Know your partner's status. Hell, know your partner!! Protect yourself.

See the videos below for the full story. Warning before you play the videos, though: They're both R rated. The first for subject matter and sexual triflingness and hosh*t. The second for Van's potty mouth!

Adventures in Side Eye o_O

2010-04-03T14:21:00.006-05:00

Preface: I know I am usually hard pressed to post twice in one week, much less in one day, but there must be an exception to every rule, so read on!
Sometimes I comb Google Images for images for my blogs. Every now and then, I come across some gems. Today I was merely looking for funny facial expressions to use as punctuation for future foolery. You know, examples of the *side eye*, the *blank stare*, and the *WTF face*.

For a while now, it has been accepted as gospel that Lady Cameroon is the penultimate example of *side eye* perfection.

But as I searched today..... well I found some *side eyes* that both impressed and confused me.

Let's begin with the impressive...

She may be adopted, but when it comes to the *side eye*, perhaps nurture outweighs nature?

Zahara picked up that ground levelling *side eye* somewhere, did she not? Angelina, you taught her well. Kudos to you!!!
But, ummm, let's address that thumb sucking thing Miss Shiloh is rockin'.... mama still has work to do!

Now, how about a mama who has guided both of her girls well into

The Way of The Side Eye....

I don't givvadamb if you like the president's politics or not.

I don't care who says what....

Michelle Obama's Side Eye gives me Life!!

Michelle Obama's Side Eye says more than the entire contents of Wikipedia!

I aspire to the Side Eye Mastery she posesses. And the girls are obviously on their way to Side Eye greatness!

My one (true) male representative in the Side Eye Gallery of Greatness is the late legendary Bernie Mac. Tell me this Side Eye isn't fierce...

Ouch!! You can almost feel the heat off that one!!

Now.... I have another Side Eye that can technically be called male, but c'mon, shim's too MUCH to fall into one category. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Side Eye Greatness that is.... RuPaul!!!

You Betta WORK!!!!

And while we're on the subject of Shim's Fierceness.... this next image just made me cackle for no good reason whatsoever.

The next two entries are the Anonymous but Awesome Side Eyes of Fury.

I wanna know who trained these young ladies, because by the time they're grown, their Side Eye Game will have reached epic proportions of lethality!

And finally, the image I found confusing...

I'll tell ya how to find it. Go to Google Images, search the term side eye. Scroll to the bottom and click on page 9. Again scroll down, and on the bottom left corner, you find this:

Miss NaturallyAlise herself!!

Now, believe me when I say, Alise is in posession of a Grand Champion Side Eye.

But people.... this is sooooooo not it!!!

This is a picture of Alise lookin' all sweet, smiling (don't let it fool ya) with her hairhat looking all emollient and whatnot.

This is Alise in all her pretty, poetic glory.

No Side Eye Here.

---------none.

Which made me make this face:

Edit: Alise got at me on Google Chat, and being the incredible friend that she is, provided me with a link to a pic of her on TwitPic that shows her in all of her Side Eye Grandeur....

Behold!! The Side Eye of Death!

That's right! It's piercing, sharp, relentless! Be Amazed!!

So, who do you think is giving the Fiercest Side Eye of them all? Discuss amongst yourself n allathatthere.

If you think you have a contender for Fiercest Side Eye in the History of Ever,
send 'em in to amymay117@gmail.com

Exploding Heads are Messy

2010-04-03T11:57:00.009-05:00

This last week has been somewhat hellacious, hellerific, and hellified. Doesn't matter why, really... it might have something to do with the Ranch, or not. I'm not sayin' either way. o_O

But I discovered that sometimes you can't make everyone happy. In fact, sometimes you can't make anyone happy... no matter how hard you try. And the harder you try, the higher your blood pressure gets. Until your head finally explodes. Then there's this whole mess to clean up. And it's like when the family dog poops on the carpet, no one wants to clean it up... yeah, same thing following a brain explosion. No one wants to scrape the brains and gore off the walls, and there are all these nasty stains on the carpet. Then everyone is even more cheezed at you because you made the mess, but being brainless now, you are in no condition to clean it up.

See what I mean? You just can't please everyone.

(This guy obviously works with ppl who are considerate enough to clean up the brain leavings...)

Other little maxims that apply:

you can't be in two places at once
you can't have your cake and eat it too
to thine own self be true

Ok, that last one was a reach. Big deal. I'm brainless, remember? My head exploded.... duh!!

Update

2010-03-27T13:40:00.003-05:00

I just wanna say that God is Good! Great and Awesome actually.

I posted about my friend and her newborn just a while back. I felt it was only fair to those who don't know her to bring y'all up to speed. The babe has had his surgery. He came through it like a ROCK STAR!!

The alarms, meds, bells, whistles, and tubes are fallin' by the wayside in short order. If he keeps doing as well as he is, he will be home sooner than later. That doesn't mean he doesn't still need our prayers for continued healing, growth and health, or that mommy and daddy and sis don't need prayers for comfort, strength, and blessings. But, man.... they have had a long journey in a short time and come a looooooong way!!

So thanks to everyone who said a prayer or kept a positive thought or sent positive energy their way. Keep it up.

If you wanna read up on Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, click the link http://www.breathofhopeinc.com/

And remember,

March 31 is National CDH Awareness Day!

Rock Turquoise in support of the babies and families affected by this condition!

The Store that Rhymes with "Paul Hart" Might be Hell's Lobby

2010-03-21T23:15:00.000-05:00

So, yeah... you know what Super Mega-Lo-Mart retailer I'm talkin' about. I don't trust those Ozark based corporate giants enough to use their proper name. We'll just call it "the store." And yes, I do believe it might be the Pier where the Ferryman for the River Styx docks to pick up his passengers.

On a normal day I loathe going into that store. It's like a vortex of unintentional and largely unnecessary spending. Even if you go in with a list and iron resolve, you almost always come out with at least one thing you neither needed nor wanted.... at least not consciously. On a normal day, I go in for coffee, a loaf of bread, and toilet tissue and walk out with a picture frame, orange juice, and socks. I'm sure there is a whole scientific explanation for that, involving magnetic fields and nuclear fission, but it gives me a headache to think about it.

Anyhoo.... Mephistopheles really laid out the welcome mat today. The boy and I went in the store this afternoon to pick up a few groceries, shampoo, and other un-fun stuff. Since I had the boy with me, I was counting on having one or two things in the cart I didn't intend to buy... But I digress.

We're meandering through the store, not in any hurry because it was raining like crazy. We came up on a clearance rack of boys' tee shirts, so I was looking for the kiddo's size. That's when it happened. In the boy's clothing department.

*sigh*

"Mama? What is this? It feels greasy..."

I turn to see a puzzled, slightly disgusted, look on the boy's face (think MC Serch, 3rd Bass-style Gas Face), and him holding, of all things, an unrolled, but (please Lawd, please...) unused condom. A Magnum from the look of it....but that's neither here nor there.

"Put it down, baby. Just put it down..."

"But what IS it???"

"Not now... Let's go wash your hands..."

"But Mama... what was it doing there? What is it?"

"Not now... go in the bathroom and wash your hands."

"Will you tell me later?"

"Yes... go wash your hands."

So he goes into the bathroom, and I find a sales associate at the back service counter. I tell this 50-ish, very Pentecostal looking woman what my son found and where he found it. She takes a deep breath and gives me a very put upon look. At which point I'm seriously irritated. Now mind you, she might have looked like a Pentecostal lady, but she works at the store, and she has an attitude that says she really doesn't want to be bothered, so she is clearly one of the devil's minions! "What do you want me to do about it?"

What??

"Lady, I'm just telling you what and where it is, so someone can go dispose of it. Please believe me when I say I'm showing restraint. Coz I'm about a microsecond away from a full out tirade. When I leave here, I have to explain this to a very bright and curious 7 year-old who isn't gonna fall for any bull.... and I'm not amused by that at all!!"

An eyeroll and a huff later... she's on her walkie talkie, presumably with the poor schlub who was to go on the Great Condom Seek and Destroy Mission.

So about 20 minutes and 1,000,000 questions later.... we're getting in the MommyVan.

"Mommy... what was that thing?"

This post is already a tome, so I won't go through the whole clumsy conversation. Let's just say, answering one question gave rise to another, and another, and another... The variety and complexity of the peripheral conversation solidified the headache that always starts when I go to that store.

And if I doubted it before, I'm absolutely certain of it now... that place truly is Hade's Lobby.

I hate it when I can't fix things...(UPDATED)

2010-03-13T03:36:00.005-06:00

Turquoise Ribbon for Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Awareness Day, March 31, 2010

Anyone who follows me on the Twittah or is a Facebook friend knows that my friend Adwina is going through the worst possible kind of parental hell on earth right now.

Dwina gave birth 10 days ago to a sweet, beautiful baby boy. That's the good news. The bad news is that he was born very sick, and has spent his whole life so far at Children's Hospital in St. Louis.

Every communication I have had with Dwina has been very hopeful, and everyone else I know who has talked to her has commented on how "upbeat" she has been. And things are actually looking pretty good for Lil' Man at this point.

But today, on her FB status, Dwina finally let some of the hurt and anger out.

I, for one, applaud her!! I wanna holler with her! While we're all praying our collective asses off for Lil' Man's healing and for the family's comfort and support, I think it's perfectly normal, natural and expected for Dwina to be a lil' miffed at the Almighty. I mean, she was a good pregnant mommy. She went to the doc, ate well, took care of herself.... and it's just not fair that this arbitrary bullshit random congenital condition should befall Lil' Man.

And you know what? I feel pretty sure that God ain't mad. I think He's in His heaven, with a tear in His eye, saying to Himself, "You're right. It ain't fair. But I'm here. We'll get through it, one way or another."

The Big Dude knows this is some ol' bullshit, and He understands that we're only human. We tend to get in our feelings a little somethin' over stuff like this. He gets it. He made us, for cryin' out loud. He knows how we are.

So Dwina... I'm glad you gave voice to those emotions. The pressure of holding it back... or in, or down, or whatever... well, it could only result in disaster later. I admire you for having the courage to let us see that you aren't impervious. Like I told you on FB... If you didn't have moments like those, it would make you a Stepford Wife. And that would be creepy and wrong.

I'm still prayin' my ass off for you all, girl. And I'm holding that faith and belief in my heart that it's gonna be alright!

UPDATED (3/13/10 5:15pm): Things are looking pretty good today! Dwina's FB status from earlier today:

"Blood transfusion went well!!! I got to do some care for him this afternoon!!! Which makes me feel like a mother!!! His fio2 is down to 73% and his o2 sats are great!!! He looks nice and relaxed!! Grandma sent me and Jeff videos of sis riding a bike, then checkin out the baby chicks at rural king!!! She looks like sheis having a blast at Camp Grandma/Papa!!!!! I get to see her tomorrow, YAY!!!"

To learn more about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) follow this link:

http://www.breathofhopeinc.com/

National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

2010-03-10T13:14:00.001-06:00

Ok, this post is late in the day. Blame my laptop, coz it's trippin'.... might be time to upgrade to that Apple I keep thinking about. But that's a post for another day....

Today is National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.... and it's time for ~~my periodic rant~~ a discussion about the virus again.

However, today instead of my usual statistics, facts and examples, I wanna say a couple of positive and personal things. I have always said that my motivation to be involved with the Red Pump Project and HIV/AIDS awareness stemmed from my profession as a nurse. Weeeeelllllll..... yeah, but naw.

A big part of it is that a friend I met about 18 years ago, and loved well, died of AIDS related pneumonia in 1998. But here's the thing. She had a daughter. Her daughter was born before HIV was part of the picture. However, she was still left to carry on with the stigma that "Your mama died of AIDS."

She didn't get resentful or bitter. She started advocating. She started talking and educating. And she started doing this at about 16 years of age, when it is really not the easiest thing to do to go against the opinions of your peers.

She's an inspiration to me. She went on to get a Master's in Social Work, and lives in Northern California, working as a family therapist.

The moral of the story, there is life after HIV. Not just for the loved ones who lost someone to the virus, but especially for people who are infected and managing the virus.

Follow the links below for facts and examples!

Much love and blessings to all. Get tested, know your status and protect yourself.

http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com

http://www.theredpumpproject.com

http://www.raelewisthornton.com/

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/

http://www.aidsbeacon.com

McDonald's Drive Thru and High People Do Not Mix

2010-03-05T11:52:00.000-06:00

So yesterday, I'm headed to work. I work evenings now, so it's about 1pm. I decide to stop at MickeyD's for a quick bite that I can eat on the way. Yeah....

Problem with that plan is the silver Toyota in front of me. I can see that there are four people in the car. It was a nice day in the cornfield, so my window was down. The Toyota pulls up to the speaker, and the chick driving starts ordering. Then she starts giggling like an idiot at something (??). Then a white Chevy pulls up in the parking lot along side the passenger side of the Toyota.

At that point, I realize this is gonna be an ordeal.

So Giggle Girl is ordering half the menu. Driver of the Chevy is out of her car, leaning in the passenger window of the Toyota, handing someone some money. Driver gets back in the Chevy and leaves. I hear Giggle Girl say "Ummm.... yeah.... and a large fry and that's it I think." So I'm now thinking, maybe this won't be so bad.

But no.

The Toyota pulls up about 18 inches, and a white boy with dreds (this is one of my all time biggest pet peeves, btw!) proceeds to lean out the back driver side window, and begin his own monumental munchie order...

*sigh*

I am deeply regretting the choice I made to pull into this drive thru. And the sad part is, it's one of those that is bordered by a concrete barrier on one side and the building on the other.... so I'm trapped like a rat.
Then I hear Dred Boy say the following, "Okay, on my second order...." followed by more hysterical laughter from inside the car.

By this time, I have ~~decided in my judgemental mind~~ realized "These jokers are high as a mug..."

So the ordering phase is over for the Toyota, and they pull away from the speaker. I pull up, give my 5 second order--coz I'm in my right mind, know what I wanna order, and have places to go dammit--and pull up. All acceptable drive thru etiquette, thankyouverymuch!

And what do you think I see??

If you said the heffa driving the Chevy being handed food out the front passenger window of the Toyota, you get a gold star with a handful of glitter! That's right, the Chevy hadn't left... just drove around to the other side of the building, parked, and waited on the Toyota to reach the window.

WTF??? Who does this? How the hell you gonna be too lazy to order and pick up your own damn food in a drive thru? Did it not take more effort to get out the car and retrieve your isht from the other car than it would to have ordered and driven thru to get it yourself? I dunno... maybe heffa's gas was on E or somethin'... but it didn't make sense to me!

When I finally reach the window, I have the most irritated, puzzled look on my face. I know this because the chick who hands me my food says, "Yeah... I don't get it either... Have a nice day, and come back again."

Moral of the story....

If you're high, GO IN to order. If you get trapped behind high people in the drive thru, be prepared to wait, and don't try to make things make sense.

In the immortal words of Jeff Spicoli "People on 'ludes should NOT drive!!"

There are times for which there are no words...

2010-02-19T17:49:00.000-06:00

I just want to say to Beth, Lisa and Erin, I know the loss you are suffering right now is devastating. I want to thank you for sharing your mom with me, and tell you that I love you all and am praying for you.

And that's the best I can do right now.

Time for that talk again....Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

2010-02-07T12:58:00.003-06:00

About a year ago, while schlepping around the intrawebs, I got to "know" some people who have irrevocably changed my life. Good, bad or indifferent... it is what it is. I put "know" in quotations b/c I have never actually met any of these ladies. Yet we have shared some pretty deep conversations online. Have discovered that we hold similar tastes, likes, values, beliefs, pet peeves and humor. My friendships with these people are every bit as valid and valuable to me as any I have with people in my immediate vicinity.

Because of one of these friendships, I became involved with the Red Pump Project. Look over on the sidebar... my humble lil' blog with its sporadic readership was one of the first to Rock the Red Pump, last March for National Women's and Girl's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. And I'm rockin' it again, and again, and again....

Today is Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. And I personally think that it's the most important of the awareness campaigns going. Why? Because, demographically, Black Americans are unbelievably over represented as far as HIV/AIDS is concerned. Now, my girl Luvvie has covered the stats in her post over at the RPP website. And I believe if it ain't broke, don't fix it... so I'm gonna trust y'all will click the daggone links!

One stat that I came across deals with the disparity between pediatric AIDS among different ethnic/racial demographics. The following tables come straight from the CDC website and they make me want to vomit.

FIGURE 2. Racial/ethnic distribution in total population and among infants aged ≤1 year, persons aged ≥13 years with diagnosed HIV* infection, and children aged <13 years with diagnosed perinatal HIV infection --- 34 states, 2004--2007^†

* Human immunodeficiency virus.

^† Data adjusted for reporting delays.

^§ Hispanics/Latinos might be of any race.

Alternative Text: The figure above shows racial/ethnic distribution in total population and among infants aged less than1 year and persons aged greater than 13 years with diagnosed HIV infection, and children with diagnosed perinatal HIV infection in 34 U.S. states from 2004-2007. During 2004-2007, among all children with diagnoses of perinatal HIV infection in the 34 states, 69% were black, 16% were Hispanic, 11% were white, and 4% were of other or multiple races. In contrast, 15% of infants in the 34 states aged less than1 year were black, 22% were Hispanic, 56% were white, and 7% were of other or multiple races. The percentages of black and Hispanic females aged >13 years with HIV infection were similar to those for children with diagnoses of perinatal HIV infection; 67% were black, and 14% were Hispanic.

FIGURE 1. Annual rate of diagnoses of perinatal HIV* infection per 100,000 infants aged ≤1 year, by race/ethnicity --- 34 states, 2004--2007^†

* Human immunodeficiency virus.

^† Data adjusted for reporting delays.

^§ Hispanics/Latinos might be of any race.

Alternative Text: The figure above shows the annual rate of diagnoses of perinatal HIV infection per 100,000 infants aged less than1 year, by race/ethnicity in 34 U.S. states from 2004-2007. From 2004 to 2007, the annual rate of diagnoses of perinatal HIV infection for black children decreased from 14.8 to 10.2 per 100,000 (p = 0.003), and the rate for Hispanic children decreased from 2.9 to 1.7 per 100,000 (p = 0.04). The rates for white children and for children of other or multiple races did not change significantly.

source

Yep, you read those stats right. Disgusting....

At one point in the HIV/AIDS story, an infected mother automatically meant an infected infant. But there are meds now, that when taken during pregnancy, can prevent the transmission of HIV from mother to child across the placenta. And these tables are showing clearly that those meds are not getting to Black expectant mothers.

And why? Poor access to prenatal diagnosis and care? Lack of information? Lack of availability of meds that could prevent those infections? Lack of caring? Yeah, all that. And more.

So, what do we do about it? We talk, yell, scream! We get involved. We start conversations about prevention. We make this a priority topic again!

I refuse to let the conversation die as long as I'm drawing breath. Please get involved. Use condoms. Know your status. Share information. If we keep rowing the boat in the same direction, we can get those lines going in the right direction people!

By the way, the RPP has a brother organization, The Red Tie Project, with a focus on issues relating to men and HIV/AIDS. Check them out!

Also check out this link... Pediatric AIDS Chicago Prevention Initiative for more info on perinatal transmission prevention.

Obvious Is As Oblivious Does

2010-02-03T22:16:00.001-06:00

So, sometimes I'm dense. Other times, I'm pretty freakin' perceptive. It really depends on how much ~~sleep I've had~~ I care about the subject matter. That's why it really shouldn't surprise any one who knows me that there are things I fail to notice until some time passes. How much time? I have no clue. Didn't I just say I really haven't been paying attention? I've had stuff going on, people.

Here's the part where the daring reader *pauses* gives me the *blank stare* o_o and asks what the he77 I been smokin'! (Newports, for the record...duh.)

In this particular situation, what I failed to notice is that I have been unfriended on the Facebook by some people with whom I work. I'm pretty sure I know the reason for my unfriending, too. I'm a "them" now.

In January, I transitioned from the role of a nurse doing direct patient care to the role of patient care coordinator, also known as a charge nurse. In essence, what that does is puts me on the other side of the "us and them line" in a lot of folks' eyes. I'm not really management, but I'm not really not management, either. Yeah, it confuses me too. What I do is a lot of educating, some problem solving, some helping, some fixing patient/family issues, a lot of meetings for projects, a truck load of stuff I'm still trynna figure out, and (here's the fly in the ointment) supervision. And, yes, I share the office with my managers (yep, I work for two managers) and the clinical educator. So, I guess maybe I am a "them" and just haven't fully accepted it yet *Kanye shrug* who knows.

But seriously, back to the FB thing...

Recently, the corporate level management/administration came to the conclusion that people needed some guidance as to what was okay to post or not post on a social networking site. And let's face it, once something hits the interwebs, for better or worse, it's there. For better or worse, good, bad, ugly or indifferent... the cyberverse has it on lock. And here's a fact, we work with flesh and blood human beings who are going through some kinda something or they wouldn't be in the hospital. Said human beings have feelings and so do their families. Said feelings are probably being experienced acutely and with raw nerve endings because of the some kinda something to which I alluded previously. Another fact to face is that these patients and their families have a right, ethically and legally to expect their privacy to be respected. And yet another fact is that we are allegedly grown-a$$ people who understand that there is something to be said for the concepts of professionalism and respect for ourselves, our peers and our facility. But I guess I assume that common sense is common... which, alas, it only ain't!

But new policy + new role = Amy gets unfriended.

(Which apparently had such an impact on me that I'm not sure exactly when it happened, so you know I lost sleep over it.)

And I said all of that in order to say this...

What is it that is so compelling to post that one would feel the need to make sure one of the "thems" doesn't see it? I mean, really? I guess that I've never felt a burning desire to put a patient's business out there like that. What if, even unintentionally, I caused a patient or a patient's family stress, embarassment or pain because I was trynna be the cool kid on Facebook? What kinda jackass would I have to be to use someone else's misfortune as fodder for my status update? (Okay, obviously this doesn't apply to ex-'s, hoes, pimps and scallawags... as long as they aren't patients in the hospital that employs you!)

So, if that's the kinda twisted crap that keeps you warm at night, well, that's on you. And if it makes you feel more secure that we aren't Farmville Neighbors any more, fine. But for the record, I've got better sh!t to do than police folks' Facebook walls. Just whatever happens, remember, when you post a status about that "Crazy lady on 8 medical," and her son, the cage fighting redneck, meets you in the parking lot after your shift (coz he saw your status on his cousin's girlfriend's news feed and recognized you as Mama's nurse).... you brought that mess on yourself!

It's Vandalyzm, y'all!!

2010-01-26T21:21:00.002-06:00

So my eHomey and St. Louis native, Vandalyzm has a new mixtape out. He's a very talented Emcee and all around good guy.... Ok, so that's a stretch. He can be an ass. But it's all good, he's a good hearted ass!! And he knows he's an ass, so it doesn't really count... anyhoooo.... His MegatronMajorz has been in constant rotation on all my players since I copped it. And I'm outrageously hyped about this new bit of Van brilliance. (Don't get ya head all inflated, Van... you still look like a bootleg Usher!).

Now, the best part is this new drop, Soulspazm Digital & Trackstar the DJ Presents: Vandalyzm is Not the Father is coppable (yeah, I made that word up... get over it) FOR THE FREE!! Woot!! You have no excuse not to check out ol' boy's music. You'll be glad you did. Also, follow him on the Twittah... he's hella funny and brutally honest!

Here's the link: http://sharebee.com/0ccf54ff

You're welcome.

Haiti

2010-01-23T12:07:00.002-06:00

Hey y'all... I know, I'm tardy for the party--again. But at least I'm here!

I won't recap the devastation and destruction and the loss of life, safety and health that Haiti has experienced over these last days. You have to be deaf, blind and willfully ignorant not to know what has happened there. I will reiterate the need for continuing prayer, support and donations that nation holds. If you haven't given already, or if you want to again, here is a link to a Google page listing organizations helping in the relief efforts.

Eli and I watched the Hope for Haiti Telethon last night. At one point, after seeing the images of the people rescued from the rubble, the dead and the injured, the total chaos of broken buildings and disrupted life, E had a flash of panic.

"Mama! Are there kids there with their moms AND dads dead?"
"Yes, baby, there are..."
"Do they have grandpas and grandmas?"
"Some of them..."
"Who's taking care of them? The ones with no more family??"
"Well, there are people there trying to find all the kids who need someone to care for them, but right now, some of them are doing their best to take care of themselves."
"I bet they're scared and sad, Mama. What happens when somebody finds them?"
"The people who are there to help will try to help them find some family. They'll keep the kids in camps, for now, and places called orphanages later, so they can take care of them."
"But what if they can't find ANY family?"
"Some of the kids might get new families. Other kids will live in orphanages until they grow up."

Note: At this point, Mama is becoming uncomfortable and guilt ridden, so I sent another text to the Red Cross and one to Yele Haiti for good measure... I'm not even gonna think about my phone bill right now.

"If something happens to you, will I go to an orphanage?"
"No, honey... you have your grandpa, Aunt Dana, Aunt Kimberly, Uncle Mikey....."
"Marc?"
"Yeah, Marc, too... and Shannan, you have a lot of family that would love to give you a home."
"I hope nothing happens to you until you get real old..."
"Me too, son." (this earned him a laugh and a side-eye).

I thought the conversation was over. I was pretty sure that the crux of the issue was E's fear of being left orphaned to fend for himself. I was wrong. Half an hour later, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"Mama, can we let some of the Haiti orphans come stay at our house? I'll share my stuff...."

I tweeted about this last line. It put me in tears. I don't know what I ever did in this life to deserve such a great kid, but for all of his faults (and he's got his share, trust me...) Eli's heart is solid gold.

I had no idea how to answer him, so I told him that I would have to find out how we could help the kids. I'm hoping that answer buys me a little time.

In the meanwhile, I'll give what I can, pray all I can, and be thankful for the life I have.

And by the way, I don't care who declares that the "rescue work" is over, where God wills it, life will continue... so will the "rescues" even if the powers-that-be declare that it's "recovery mode" now.

Anniversary Schmanniversary

2010-01-17T22:48:00.000-06:00

My mom, 1989, just before she really started getting sick.

Ok, so that was a way disrespectful title to give the post I think I'm about to write. And I say "I think" because I have every intention of writing about it, but I may falter and give up along the way.

I have in many posts spoken of my mom. I've stated that she was a wonderful, selfless, giving person. I've admitted that I gave her a ton of worry and heartache in my raising. I've also come to understand how much I took her for granted and under appreciated her while she was alive. She wasn't perfect. Far from it. But she is one person of whom I can honestly say this: In all of her imperfections, she always had the best of intentions and the best interests of her loved ones at heart. I am not gonna talk about all of this again today.

This date, the anniversary of her death, is also the anniversary of the hardest decision that my family and I ever had to make. See, Mom didn't just die. There wasn't any sudden or dramatic exit from this earthly plane for her. It was a long and tortuous journey for her and for us.

Mom had severe lung disease. She had undergone a major thoracic surgery in the mid 90's in a then experimental procedure. She had had her ups and downs. Times when she lacked the breath or the energy to do as much as eat. Times when she was feeling great and could be active. Many times, out of a sense of obligation or duty (mostly to her mom or eldest brother) she pushed herself to her physical limits. Over doing it for a day cost her physically in weeks of recovery time. She never let anyone but me and my dad see that though.

I carry a lot of guilt because I know that some of the crappy decisions I had made during the 90's really took a toll on her. The emotional/mental stress always showed up as damage to her physical health. Sometimes I wonder how many years I might have shaved off her life with my selfishness and immaturity. I don't say that in a self pitying, fishing for consolation kinda way. I mean that isht. I really think that my brother and I had a lot to do with her decline. I'm still trying to learn to live with that.

But I digress...

After years of treatment, surgery, rehabilitation, remissions and exacerbations, in 2003, her pulmonologist told her that if she continued on as she was, she had about 18 months to 2 years before she died. However, if she had a lung transplant, she was looking at 5 to 10 more years, with the average being 7 years. Of course there was the "fine print" as she liked to call it. There was a chance she could die on the table. The chance she would reject the organs. The chance she would get a post op infection. The fact that she was trading lung disease for life long immune suppression. All sorts of stuff could go wrong. But to her, all of the risks were worth the reward of not having to struggle and fight for every breath anymore. Even if it was just for a short time.

She was on the "active" transplant list for a very short time. She had moved from her beloved Mississippi back to Illinois to be within a 2 hour drive of BarnesJewish Hospital in St. Louis. She was preparing herself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually for whatever was to come. She was ready for the wait, steeling herself for the disappointment, and still struggling to breathe.

Then the call came. We were getting ready for church. The phone rang. I answered. "May I speak to Eunice please, I'm calling for the transplant team at Barnes." She got off the phone. "Well, Cliff... we need to go to St. Louis."

Now, at that point, the surgery wasn't a definite. They had a donor, but they wouldn't know if the lungs were suitable for transplant until they started recovering the organs. Still, she had to go through pre op prep. She didn't want me to "drag the baby out for nothing," so Eli (then 1 year old) and I were going to go to church, then home to wait. At the time, I was going to school (yes, I am the eternal student). It was January 11, 2004. Semester started the next day. The last words my mother and I exchanged are burned in my brain forever. "Mom, I love you so very much." "I love you too, Sissy... You have school tomorrow. Don't worry about me." Then she and Dad walked out the door.

So here is where my intentions and my strength of spirit are coming to a parting of the ways. I intended to detail the long, hellish, surreal week that followed. I just can't. Maybe next year. The synopsis of that week is disappointment, hope, loss of hope, desperate prayer, denial, anger, disbelief, renewed hope, stolen hope, more anger, guilt, more prayer and bargaining, despair, unspeakable sadness, agonizing heartbreaking pain and finally, resignation. After a week on machines, never regaining consciousness, never taking that unburdened, deep and satisfying breath, my mom started into what I now know was multisystem organ failure. She was shutting down. She was no longer inhabiting her physical shell.

During all of hell week, at least one of us had been in the family waiting area at all times. Until the morning of January 17. Dad had gone to get an hour or two of sleep. My Aunt Beckie, Dad's sister, was sitting in the waiting room in case anything happened. She had to pee. While she was in the bathroom, Mom went into cardiac arrest. Without someone there to tell them to let her go, they resuscitated her. Her heart started again.

When I arrived at the hospital, Dad told me and my brother what had happened, and he told us it was time to make a decision. While none of us wanted Mom to suffer, we all felt like we were betraying her by admitting she wasn't going to get better. We had all been carrying the guilt of "thinking the worst" for days by that time. But it was clear. It was time to let her go. It was time to let her rest.

Every one went in 2 or 3 at a time and said good bye. Then Dad, my brother and I went in. We kissed her. Told her we loved her and that it was ok to let go. They gave her morphine and ativan to ease the transition. I couldn't watch them turn off the machines. So I stood outside her room while the machines were turned off. After about 5 minutes, Dad came out and told me she had gone peacefully. We stayed with her a few more minutes before we went back out to the waiting room.

The next few days are a blur. The funeral and visitation were nightmarish. I remember feeling like someone was trying to pull my heart out through my chest. I remember that I didn't know how I could hurt so bad and not go crazy or die.

For those of you who had the stomach to read all of this, I thank you. I needed to tell it. I don't know why. Maybe to see how far I've come in the healing. Maybe to honor her memory. Maybe to exorcise some demons.

In years to come, I hope the memory of that week continues to fade. But I hope the flame of my mother's spirit continues to burn inside of me and all of those who knew and loved her.

Rest in peace, Mommy. I still love you so very, very much.

I survived week one!!

2010-01-15T21:04:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I started a "new" job at my job... huh?? Basically, I'm doing different stuff at the same place. So Monday at the Ranch was a blur. Tuesday was spent in a seminar. So by Tuesday evening, I had started to panic. Yeah, I know, ME? Panic?? Unheard of!!! At work, anyway...

The thing that kicked off the panic was the thought "Oh, lawd... I think I made a mistake!!" I was forseeing a world where I was stuck in meetings, seminars and bureaucracy, devoid of contact with actual patients!
And I thought, "Wait a minute... fixin' sick people is what I'm good at...really good at...Why did I leave that?"

Yep... I was in full "Worst Case Scenario" mode!! I mean, not to hype myself up or be arrogant or anything, but I'm pretty good at the whole bedside nursing thing. Nursing is what I'm meant to do.

And then it occurred to me... It wasn't just that I was feeling like I was going to miss taking care of a team of patients on a daily basis, though that was part of it. It was the idea of giving up control. It was the concept of trusting the care of "my" team of patients to another nurse. It was the thought that "No one will do this the way I would."

And I realized I really need to just get the hell over myself!! I mean, it's not like I'm Florence Nightengale or Clara freakin' Barton!! And the job I've moved into is important, too. Hopefully I can do the job justice. And I will be at the bedside as often as I can, coz I love it!

So we'll see what next week brings!

Hold it down, lil' man!!

2010-01-09T22:08:00.002-06:00

I got seriously irritated in my attempts at figuring out my Christmas present..... so being me, I said screw this I'll come back to it later. Then I went over to one of my fave blogs, Oh, Hell Nawl to catch up on what I missed. And I came across this seriously funny vid. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... little boys LOVE their Mommas! I can see Eli pullin' some stuff like this. That's ok. Lil' man just settin' the ground rules!

Enjoy.

My ongoing fight with technology...

2010-01-09T19:54:00.000-06:00

Yeah... I don't know what's wrong with me either. You would think that I would have a grip on things like reading instructions and whatnot, but apparently not.

I got a digital picture frame from my dad for Christmas. It's really cool. All sorts of bells and whistles. Plays music even. Only problem is that I can't seem to get the damn thang to work. Sigh.

I'll let you know how this battle ends later.

Let me stop messing around with technology... I'm too old for all this new fangled tomfoolery!

2010-01-05T09:32:00.003-06:00

All right.... I really thought I was on to something. I'm trying to make up for being negligent around here, you know before Blog Protective Services comes to repo my lappie take rpd into protective custody...
But, it would appear that I am too technologically backas*ward to manage to do anything but further traumatize my eBrainchild.

What did I do? Glad you asked... like I said, I wanted to spiff things up 'round here. So I decided to install a new comment format. However, I appear to have lost all the comments made on previous posts with the exception of the ones that made it to the recent comments widget in the sidebar. Yeah... I suck.

Next time, I'm gonna be taking Alise up on her offer to help me with stuff like that. Oh, wait.... does the offer still count if it was lost into cyberspace with the rest of the comments I inadvertently amputated? FML.

Yes, I am aware I'm too easily amused. Got a problem with that?

2010-01-05T07:06:00.007-06:00

Ok, I really took it hard when Billy Mays bit the dust last year. I mean who's gonna hard sell me sh*t I don't need now?

Vince, that's who. And Vince... Yeah, way funnier in a remix than old Billy.

"Slap deez," says Vince!

In the second vid, skip to 1:59 or so to see Biff from accounting doing some pretty impressive moves for a white guy!

I'll be back later with a real post. This was just some random crap that got me chuckling early today.

So, what did I miss? .... yeah, thought so.

2010-01-04T21:56:00.004-06:00

It's been nearly a month since I've tended to the eCrib, and boy-oh-boy, how the cobwebs gather!! My poor little blog is feeling terribly neglected. So I spiffed it up a bit... well, I changed the color scheme a little. It was the least I could do since I missed it's first blog-iversary. Poor lil' bloggity blog!

Anyhooooooo....

How've ya been? Holidays good? I hope so! Mine were pretty fantawesome (word to Luvvie, I jacked her adjective) to tell ya the truth! Is the family well? Good, good....

Enough of the small talk.

I have been less than inspired lately. I 'pologize. There have been some rant worthy situations in recent weeks, even some things that got my blood boiling, but none of them were bloggable. Either because they would have been bereft of any humor (and a rant with no funny is just mean for no reason) or because it would involve compromising someone's right to privacy and dignity (in other words, it just wasn't my story to tell).

There was a lot of fodder in the media that could have inspired a post. But I promise, if I'd read one more story about a certain Escalade wrecking, hoe hoppin' golfer, I might have snapped. So that was off limits.

I have a big professional change happening, but y'all don't want me to get started on that. It's only exciting to me and the people who work with me at the Ranch. And really, it's only marginally exciting to those who have any interest at all.

And, as I touched on in my last post, I've been doing the winter doldrums... but that's starting to get better, too.

Soooooo... here's what I propose. I'm gonna commit to do at least one post a week, more if the spirit moves me. I'm not promising gold, grand literature or even consistently good writing... but I will post something! I just might start with the saga of my brother's new phone! Yeah... that'll be a good one! I'll work on that for tomorrow!

Explain yourself, please!

2009-12-13T14:13:00.002-06:00

Hello. Me again. I could apologize and explain myself for being all inconsistent, flaky and flighty and whatnot, but to quote my pal Tiha, "Kick rocks!" I'm just gonna say that there's been a lot going on in Amyland that has kept me an inconstant blogger and bereft of inspiration.

That said, where to start? All things being equal, let me give you some context... while I love autumn, the weather, the smells, the chill in the air, one thing I don't cope with well is the shortened daylight. Some years it's worse than others, but I have a touch of seasonal affective disorder. Fear not, I won't be swan diving off any bridges or anything. It's not that serious. I'm medicated! However, while most folks are counting down the days 'til Christmas this time of year, I'm focused on the solstice! Come on December 22!! The days start getting longer again, and I know I'm through the worst of it. Mood swings, irritability, melancholy... yeah, I'm just a barrel of freakin' laughs from about the third week in October until mid to late February. But knowing this about myself is half the battle. And it's manageable.

Then there is life. Work, home, relationship, friendships, finances.... all the normal stuff that most folks wrestle with... not to mention the hundreds of thousands of viruses and crap my son brings home from school. But that's material for another post!

Now, wait a minute!! Didn't I tell y'all to kick rocks?? That I WASN'T gonna explain myself?? Ok, then...

I have some exciting changes coming up in my real life this New Year! Many of you who know me in real life, and several of my might as well be in real life online friends, know that I applied for a management position at The Ranch. I didn't get it, but when one door closes and all that... I did get the next position I applied for just a couple weeks later. So, January 11, I start in my new role of Patient Care Coordinator. I'll be working evening shifts and five days a week... a big change from my three twelve hour day shifts a week, but I'll adjust.

I really wanna say thanks to everyone who supported me in the process of this life change.

Anyway, my hope is that now that my life is settling down and some of the uncertainty is cleared up, I'll be able to get back on my square, so to speak. And we're getting closer to the shortest day, so I'll be on the up side of that lil' issue soon, too.

A personal note to April... one of my co-workers and faithful readers (even tho she rarely comments, hmpf...) I know there were a few situations of late which gave you reason to hope for a rant or two. And they truly deserved the rant, I'll give ya that... I just didn't have it in me. I was plenty worked up, but just didn't feel the funny. And mean without the funny is just mean. And that's wrong. I'll do better next time!!

So, once again, everybody... kick rocks! I'm through explaining my non-explanation!

World AIDS Day

2009-12-01T22:59:00.008-06:00

Today was World AIDS Day, and I am shamefully late with this post. I'll spare you the explanation, because it is totally devoid of any entertainment value.... Instead, I'm gonna repost something I wrote a while back, because it still says what I wanna say about HIV/AIDS.

As usual though, I want to take this opportunity to urge everyone to KNOW YOUR STATUS!!

I don't care what you think, HIV is world wide, yes, even here in the Cornfield. Just like with so many other things, knowledge is power!

Originally posted 3-2-09

I was enduring a long and boring day of orientation for a new/old job today, and as my mind is prone to do, it wandered. It was wandering in the direction of trying to come up with a blog topic. I haven't posted for a while, so it's about time I got off my duff and did something about it.

**side note: if you work with me, no, I'm not leaving. I just caved into the pressure from a couple of people and am picking up an ER shift or two a month at another hospital. If you don't work with me, you probably don't give a dang that I picked up a "spare job."**

Anyway, as I sat there with my mind meandering, beginning to despair of my totally idea free inspiration zone, my phone buzzed. I checked it at the next break, and it was Luvvie's blog post on my email. Of course I read it immediately. What better cure for interminable boredom than that? Leopard print leggings....oh my damn! But it wasn't the leggings that got me, it was the public service announcement about the upcoming National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day on March 10 and the RED PUMP PROJECT. In this PSA there is inspiration to write about what I know......

I'm a nurse, and one of the hats I wear at my "real job" is Infection Control and Prevention. I'm a card carrying member of the Southern Illinois Chapter of APIC (Association of Practioners of Infection Control). This is the most active and influential professional association of it's kind. ( I admit to being a microbiology geek. Deal with it, I have.) They write standards of care for every situation you can imagine based on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines. Infectious disease is something that gets me riled up. So here goes my rant on HIV/AIDS.

In the years since HIV/AIDS first landed on the world with both feet, there has been a continuum of response ranging from no reaction to over reaction, ignorance and ignoring to fear and alienation, and just about everything in between. I remember at one time feeling safe and isolated from the big bad bug because I lived in the middle of a cornfield in the middle of the country, and this was a Big City, fringe of the nation, fringe of society problem. And at that time, that was the message we were getting from the media. I was in maybe 8th or 9th grade at the time, it was the early 80's and AIDS was a "gay men's" problem. Then more information came out, the bug crossed gender and orientation lines, and the panic set in. (If you really want the scoop on the mishandling of the early days of HIV/AIDS, read And the Band Played On: Politics, People and the AIDS Epidemic by Randy Shilts. And if you're not pissed off before you're halfway through, screw ya!)

Anyhoooo..... what I've been seeing in my cornfield lately is an increase in people being treated for AIDS and the opportunistic infections that go hand in hand. I had gone 4 years as a nurse in this area and actually cared for only a smattering of HIV positive patients. The last 6 months or so, however, has provided my total clinical experience with HIV with exponential growth! I can't say it's making a "comeback" because it never went anywhere. Not really. It just lost attention because the antiviral cocktails slowed the mortality rate. People are still dying, just not as fast and furiously as before the drugs were developed. But that slow down, the discovery that babies could be spared the virus if the HIV positive mom was on the meds during pregnancy, and the acceptance that casual contact didn't spread the virus all contributed to a change in perception of HIV/AIDS. It kinda fell off the radar, but it didn't fall out of existence. And new cases are on the rise again. And most of these new cases are women. And, as Luvvie pointed out, most of these women are black--66%.

So, I'm thinking, if I go 4 years and see 2 cases of HIV in my cornfield, then see 3 cases in the last 7 months...... what the hell is going on in the Big City? What is the new infection rate like in high density population areas like NY, LA, DC and Chicago? What are the chances that we aren't going to see a frightening upsurge in new cases in the near future?

The science behind preventing the spread of HIV hasn't changed in a decade, really. The fact that AIDS kills hasn't changed...it just takes a little longer. What has changed is the general attitude towards it. It used to be a BIG DANGED DEAL, and now, it's not, in many people's minds. Well, dammit, it NEEDS to be. Get tested. Be careful. Use condoms. Quit acting like it has gone away, because IT'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!!! Quit ignoring HIV/AIDS. It's as much a part of our world as the oceans, the forests and the fields. Open your eyes, and deal with it.

See, it still says what I want it to say... and it's still relevant (unlike Paula Abdul or Lil' Mama).

For more information, visit the Red Pump Project or the Red Tie Project, or the CDC website.

And for a lil' Ig with your Info, check out Awesomely Luvvie!

And Now for Something Completely Different...

2009-11-25T20:56:00.005-06:00

This is a pic of my family from 1989... Trust me, none of us look like that anymore. But I love that pic of my Mom laughing her a$$ off! I miss her most about this time of year, but I sure am thankful to have been raised by such a fantastic lady!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Most of you will be spending the day stuffing your gob with decadent deliciousness, watching football and either enjoying or enduring family and friends. Some will be cooking themselves into a frenzy. Some will be burning up the highway making the rounds of different dinners and holiday obligations.

And some of you will, like me, be at work.

Now, before you say it, no "awwww's." This is not going in the whiney, self-pitying direction that sentence implies, because I'm a nurse. People don't stop being sick or injured or in need of care just because it's a holiday.

In fact, Thanksgiving being about.... well, being thankful, I find Thanksgiving at the Ranch to be gratitude inducing.

First is the obvious...I'm healthy enough to be at work and not in one of the beds.

Second, my family is healthy enough that I'm not sitting a vigil in the ICU waiting room, pacing the floor while someone I love is in surgery, or impatiently waiting for a doctor to see my family member in the Emergency Department.

Third, I am in a unique position to make a difference. I can make a craptastic situation a little less feces filled for my patients and their families. A smile, a kind word, an extra orange jello and lemonlime shasta... it's little, but when you feel like ass, it's a lot.

And finally, I get to cook on the weekend rather than Thursday, which means, of course I get the turkey after they go on sale!! Usually about half price. So I'm frugal... don't judge me.

So that's what I'm grateful for in working on Thanksgiving.

In general, I'm thankful for my family, my home, my friends and both of my loyal readers! I'm thankful for the opportunity to express myself freely and be accepted for who and what I am. Y'all rock my socks!

This year, I am especially grateful for some new friends in my life, both people I have met on these intrawebs and in-real-life. My life is richer for them.

Soooooo......

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope the food is fantastic, the football team you root for wins and drunk Uncle Joe doesn't tell any embarrassing stories to your new significant other about the time you.... well, fill in the blank with your most mortifying childhood memory.

Oh, yeah.... don't forget, friends don't let friends drive with the itis... take that nap before you hit the road for home!

Hi! I'm still alive n sh*t...

2009-11-18T17:14:00.007-06:00

Eli's birthday party was held at the bowling alley this past Saturday. He and his little minions... I mean friends had a blast. He officially turns 7 tomorrow... Nov. 19. He's growing up so fast!! I love his lil' mocha self!!

So anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have a wonderful kiddo who I love more than socks, chocolate cake, grilled cheese sammiches and air! Eli is smart, funny, creative and sweet. And he luuuuuuuvvvvssss his mama!!

This post is dedicated to him because tomorrow is his bornday!

This is my interview with my son, Elijah. (Pay attention, he's gonna be famous some day!!)

Me: What is your favorite color?

Eli: Red because it's the same color of fire. (Not sure if this should worry me or not...)

Me: What is your favorite book?

Eli: Dinosaur books because they're awesome... their sharp teeth and sharp claws are cool!

Me: Who is your best friend and why?

Eli: I have two best friends. Who are they? First one, Eli H. because he's my neighbor. The other one is Garrick. He lives across the street and lets me play his video games.

Me: What is your favorite passtime? (had to explain "passtime" to him)

Eli: Playing video games.

Me: Even though you don't have a system? (Don't judge me... I would rather he read than play Mario or whatever)

Eli: I also like to tackle people!!! Whenever Garrick has the ball when we're playing outside, I always grab and tackle him. He can never get me.

Me: Do you have any special talents?

Eli: Yes. I can dance Hip Hop. I have really good football talent at tackling. I am learning to play the guitar. That's gonna help me get the chicks!! I write stories for you, Mom. I'm a good reader.

Me: Do you have a girlfriend? (yea, Mom's diggin' for info)

Eli: NO!! Well... Angela, she's a peach girl. I still don't have a brown girlfriend again, but I'm looking. (He's very color literal...*shrug*)

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Eli: In the military. (He's seen GI Joe a few too many times) Or a Hip Hop guitar player, you know, for the chicks... Or a DJ *insert a mimicking of scratch/mix type actions and a fairly good beatbox beat of about 25 seconds*

Me: What's your favorite thing about school?

Eli: Nothing, really... Reading class and library.

So there you have it. Eli's first official interview. And before you ask, yes, he really is that girl-crazy already. I think it's all the hormones in the poultry. But that's a conspiracy for another blog!

Edit: Yes, those are turntables on his Tee... it's his current favorite. I'm just glad it was clean for the party or it woulda been some drama.

Bad Amy!! BAD, BAD Amy!!!

2009-11-04T21:22:00.003-06:00

I've been a negligent blog momma lately. I have no excuse for myself. I'll show myself to the corner and think about what I've done....

Ok, not really...

So some randomosity for your perusal...

Fact--I have been pulled over by the Illinois State Police and given (thank you Jesus) a warning citation in EVERY single vehicle I have driven in the last 4 weeks. Seriously. For some bullshiggity, too!! (Burned out light over the license plate on two occasions and 5 miles over the speed limit on the third). One trooper even searched my car because it was after midnight, and when he asked where I was coming from I responded, truthfully, Memphis. Apparently, that was cop code for "illegal stuff in the car." Sorry, Officer Arsehat, I value my child, personal liberty, career and LIFE too much to be that STUPID.

Fact--I checked my myspace page (no, I haven't deleted it yet.... don't judge me!!) and discovered a friend request from my ex-husband. *blank stare* From whom I have been divorced for about a decade n a half.... Yeah.... I don't get it either. Marc was amused. Not sure why. But he's all full of white boy jokes now n whatnot. Funny man, my boo. o_O

Fact--I plucked my eyebrows almost into oblivion tonite. That has nothing to do with anything.

It just is.

Ok, I promise a better post soon, but this is better than nothing. Or maybe it isn't. Oh, well, we'll get over it!

random and pressing details

January 17

Well it's a new year and whatnot...

Hi, Neighbor! Can we talk about your dog a minute?

Reblogging Coz Luvvie's feelin' the Spirit today...

World AIDS Day... And I'm Tardy!!!

Theory Revisited

Vainglorious Side-Eyes from "DirtyPrettyThangs"

Mama Nay, I need a word with you...

Now there's Side-Eye greatness in my Gmail....

Side-Eye Glory in my @Replies....

Side-Eye Lifetime Achievement Award (Posthumously): Rue McClanahan

Reason #7483 that I love my son: constant source of amusement

So much to post, so little time....

Vandalyzm: New Music Drops Today!

Link to Dr. Goddess...Revelations: Our Fascination with the Antoine Dodson Situation

Sunday shooting leaves one dead � Local � Mt. Vernon Register-News

Vote T.E.A.M. HIV/AIDS: Provide teens with peer to peer education and awareness

Pulling a grounded ship and other exercises in futility....

I really do have a point, here...

The Hokey Pokey 2010. � Splackavellie Central

I should be doing homework....

Folk art wolf puppet. Possibly magic. - eBay

random facelift

Yes... that's my kid... *sigh*

A little homework, a little G-Chat....

I am not simple minded....

Imagine my chagrin....

The Biggest Kitten I've Ever Seen

Random Nerd Alert

NaturallyAlise... is 11 years, 1 day younger than me...

My Second 21st BornDay!

More from the Side Eye Hall of Honor...

Blog Swap Monday: Meet my Cosmic Twin, NaturallyAlise

And what you didn't know is that I'm just getting started!!!

Using my 100th Post for the Power of Good!!!

Damb You, Animal Planet!!

STD's Are NOT Sexy... No Matter How "Spectacular" the Sex Was

Adventures in *Side Eye* o_O

Exploding Heads are Messy

Update

The Store that Rhymes with "Paul Hart" Might be Hell's Lobby

I hate it when I can't fix things...(UPDATED)

National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

McDonald's Drive Thru and High People Do Not Mix

There are times for which there are no words...

Time for that talk again....Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Obvious Is As Oblivious Does

It's Vandalyzm, y'all!!

Haiti

Anniversary Schmanniversary

I survived week one!!

Hold it down, lil' man!!

My ongoing fight with technology...

Let me stop messing around with technology... I'm too old for all this new fangled tomfoolery!

Yes, I am aware I'm too easily amused. Got a problem with that?

So, what did I miss? .... yeah, thought so.

Explain yourself, please!

World AIDS Day

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Hi! I'm still alive n sh*t...

Bad Amy!! BAD, BAD Amy!!!

Yes... that's my kid... sigh

Adventures in Side Eye o_O